Tears of Anointing

Turned a Whiter Shade of Pale

2009-09-17T01:37:00.002+10:00

Well as most of my “readers” and friends would know, I’ve been really sick for months now. I recently found out I have a disease of my thyroid, and was told if it was left untreated I could have died. My heart scare helped me realize how right that is, as your entire body reacts to this disease. And I’m very lucky, and I might add, blessed that it was diagnosed when it was. Because it was at the bad end of the disease, heading towards dangerous apparently, according to other sufferers of this illness.

One of the symptoms/side-effects of this disease is massive anxiety. And I can’t even tell you how hard it is to literally feel like the room is closing in on you and that there is impending doom. This is the most recent symptom to me (as if all the others weren’t bad enough, I’m walking around pale as anything!!) and I’d like to say it’s one that as a Christian I can overcome, but so far prayer is not taking this anxiety away – it’s physiological not psychological.

Anyway, it got me thinking about how dark this world is for some people. What a horrible place to be, to not have hope for the future. What a horrible place to be to not know that there is a God who loves you and will look after you. What a horrible place to be not knowing where you will go if you were to die tonight.

I kind of joke with people about my disease, partly that’s a defence mechanism, but partly it’s because I know how blessed I am to be in a place where the future is in control, God has His hand upon me, and even if the worst happened, I know exactly where I’ll be.

Throughout this health saga I’ve experienced, I’ve also come to the conclusion that Jesus is the only one I’m going to cling to. Friends and family may fail you. Your health may fail you. Your job most certainly will at some point. But Jesus, wow, Jesus will never fail you.

Praise God for that! :)

Conservatively Liberal!

2009-09-08T21:08:00.002+10:00

You know, there are many labels that we're given. Tall, short, fat, thin, lazy, hard-working, smart, dumb. So many labels. Some labels are good and others bad.

As Christians, we carry labels also - hypocrite, compassionate, "good"... or labels like "conservative" or "liberal" or "fundamentalist" or "zealot". Oh how often I've been stuck with a label in a derogatory manner. And those labels sometimes "stick" and cause me to question who I am.

My friend and I see the world through very different eyes, and yet he is probably one of the people I most respect. I always get the giggles when we're in class together because we come at the same point from completely different angles and yet most often agree with each other on the main point. He will always fight from a Scriptural perspective, I from a justice perspective, and yet at the end of the day we agree.

In class on Monday the discussion was centred around "Evangelism" and "Social Action" - and it became evident that a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing. My friend and I of course got massively defensive about our point of views, and it dawned on me at the end of the day, we were arguing the same point, and it was vastly different from the point of those sitting in the middle of the argument!

My friend made the comment that we both fight from a point of our experience and our strong views. He made the observation that he is a liberal conservative and I am a conservative liberal. And there lies the truth...we may see the world from different perspectives, but at the end of the day, it is our strong views and life experience that brings us to a point of agreeance - that and Scripture which forms the foundation of our views and experience.

I've often been called a "liberal" in a very derogatory manner, however, my dear friend has helped me come to a point where I am proud to be called a "conservative liberal". My passion, my experience and my strong opinions form who I am.

Another friend recently told me not to be like all the other girls who "dumb themselves down" in order to be liked. I don't ever want to do that. I don't want to change my views out of fear of being labelled a "liberal" or a "fundo" if I disagree with the liberals! I am who I am. And all the passion and fire I have makes me who I am. And that's a pretty good person to be! :)

Goodbye my friend...you have been the one, you have been the one for me!

2009-09-04T13:59:00.002+10:00

Well last night I said goodbye to a friend for a long while. And for the first time in my life, I realized the value of "grown up" relationships. You know the type - where you talk about things maturely, not make some dramatic scene.

My friend is an amazing person. He is wise and compassionate and loving and very kind. But he is so unsure of himself and so unable to see the brilliant man I, and I assume so many others see. And I was actually able to tell him that, without fear that he was going to read into it, or think I was a fool. I'm sad that I won't get to see him for a long time. And saying goodbye to friends is really hard. I know that whenever God allows our paths to cross again we will pick up where we left off with a whole lot of life stories to tell inbetween. And I know that he knows he can contact me whenever he needs to.

But what last night did was drive home to me what one of my recent blogs talked about - the value of telling people what they mean to you. Saying goodbye to someone often prompts you to say what you need to say, but we shouldn't wait until it's time to say goodbye. I should have told my friend what I thought of him before we had to say goodbye!

What a blessing friends are. While I've been sick I've really noticed what a blessing friends can be - the chats, and visits, and chocolate, and flowers, and food and hugs - have all helped see me through. But beyond that, friends are the people who know who you really are and choose to love you.

So from now, let's not wait until it's time to part ways before we thank people for the part they play in our lives. To remind them that they are put in our lives for a purpose and a reason. That they are the people God has chosen for you.

Is There Anyone Out There..Cos it's gettin' Harder and harder to breathe!

2009-09-02T23:29:00.002+10:00

It's been an interesting few weeks. My health continues to deteriorate, and with it comes a bit of depression - you know the whole "Everyone is out there having fun and I'm cooped up in the house" sort of depression. Nothing too bad, just a bit meh you know?

My Training Principal sent me an email today to find out how I was going, and asked the question - "How's your soul?" Before I started at Training College, that question would have scared me, I mean what is the right answer?! But the longer I've been at College, and have come to expect that question from our TP, the more I realize honesty is the best policy on this one.

So I guess right now my soul is clinging desperately to a God who I know can heal. A God who is so much bigger than any issue we might face. A God who looks at me and says "Sarah your soul is fine, you're going to make it!" And the more I cling, the more at peace I become with where my soul is at. I'm assured of a Saviour who leads me through all things and will never leave me or forsake me...and because of that, I'm free.

Am I happy with my life as it currently is? No, of course not! I don't know anybody who given my situation would say they are truly "happy". But I am saved, and I am free. I refuse to let this illness, or the pressure from others to just "get better" (trust me I really really would love to!) get me down.

Whilst over the past few weeks I've been finding it hard to breathe (literally at times) I am assured that this will one day all be part of my testimony. I know that there's someone "out there" within my reach who's helping me to fight, even when it feels as though my body is losing the battle, I know my soul i s not. And one day this will be able to say to others "I faced darkness once before, and the fear that closed in on me each day, but I made it and so will you." I'm trying to focus on the light...

So my question is to you, given what you are facing right now - all the trials life throws at you... how's your soul?

Who are you? Who who who who?

2009-08-15T17:27:00.001+10:00

Have I told you my life is kind of like CJ Craig’s on the West Wing. I feel my whole life has been about helping others put a positive spin on the things they have done with their lives. Ever there with a smile, and the strength to weather the storm. The strong, stable woman everyone depends on in a crisis, the friend who loves no matter the situation. And that’s a good thing, it’s a very good thing. It’s her special gift to give people, granted for a short time ( a term)… but it’s hers and she gives it willingly.

But then there’s the regrets she has…the things she has done that were just “not her” things she has nobody to apologise to but herself. Compromises she has made for the “greater good” or for the fulfilment of other peoples happiness. People she’s neglected, friends she’s lost, mistakes she’s made. Silences she had when she should have spoken out, or times she should have kept silent. These things she carries close to her heart. These things are often the source of the pain she carries that nobody else understands.

I told a friend recently you can’t have pleasure without the pain. And the more I’ve been getting into the West Wing, I can see that in CJ’s character. For the most part she’s a very happy person… but consistently her happiness is founded upon making others happy. And it’s sometimes been at the expense of her happiness.

I’ve been rather sick for a while now, which most of my friends know. It’s been awful, and I’m very very much over it. The doctors think they may have found something, but it has involved more blood tests and most likely will involve at least one specialist. Hopefully I will know on Tuesday what is going on. What it has done is enable me to think…way too much time to think these past two weeks. It’s made me think about who am I really? Am I really the sum of my mistakes? Am I really the sum of the happiness others have because of the storms I’ve helped them weather? Am I so much more than that? Who am I really? And what is it that I have to offer?

Over the past week or so, I’ve thought heavily about some of the decisions I’ve made over the past few years…and how they’ve affected the woman I see myself as. One in particular has changed how I think of myself, and at the time I made it, I really thought it was the right choice, that it would help bring a lot of happiness, and for a short while it really did. But the pleasure comes with a lot of pain too right? And I look back now and there is a lot of pain there…but the thing is, I’m not sure I wouldn’t make the same decision again if I had the chance. It bought a lot of happiness to others, and a lot of happiness at the time for me. Looking back, I wonder whether the others will see the happiness it bought them, and the cost it was to who Sarah is as a person?

I live by the “forget regrets or life is yours to miss” philosophy of life. And forgiveness comes strongly to those who seek it. So I do not regret the decisions I’ve made…they’ve led me to the place I am now, and the woman I am each day becoming.

But reflecting on this these past few weeks has helped me to realize, there are things still left unsaid to some people, things that I don’t think should be left unsaid. Doors left to close, windows yet to be opened. Whatever may become of these conversations, I say “let it be”.

We must not leave things unsaid to those we care about. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? I’m not talking about your kids (I hope you tell them every day) or your partner, I mean the people who have changed your lives. There’s someone I know who has changed my life and I’ve never told them, I’ve never thanked them, or told them just how much I love or care for them.

So, this next season for me, will be about saying what needs to be said. Closing the doors for some. Opening the windows for others. And I’m excited by the possibilities that will bring.

Every decision you make shapes who you are…the good and the bad. You need to allow God to show you the ways in which those decisions have shaped you and how He will use them to make this world a better place. Just like He has been showing me.
Bless you my dear friends, bless you a lot! Xxx :-)

Resting in the Saviours Arms

2009-04-20T14:12:00.001+10:00

Today is a struggle. I’m overwhelmed with fear that I know is not of God.

I am thankful that God is in control, which was confirmed to me when I opened Lotus Notes and found today’s bible verse was:

Today's Bible Verse - Proverbs 29:25

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.”

I praise God that as I trust in Him, He will keep me safe!! Hallelujah!

ICES Discipleship Principals

2009-04-14T21:24:00.005+10:00

Today's Training Principal Lecture was Part One of a Two-Part series on "Discipleship".

Most, if not all Christians would state that discipleship is a crucial aspect of the Christian journey. However, few would state that they feel they have been discipled well, or that they themselves know how to disciple others.

Captain Stephen Court (our Training Principal) read the following quote, and I (as well as many of my fellow Ambassadors) believe it holds the key to effective for and by Salvationists:

“Great crowds of working people came to hear me preach; a large number were convinced of sin by the Holy Spirit, and many of them responded to my invitations to come to Christ for salvation. Encouraged by what I saw in Whitechapel, and finding other parts of the Metropolis equally necessitous, I visited some of them, with equally gratifying results. Much enthusiasm was created and many of the converts became my regular coworkers. These I met regularly every week, personally instructing them in the things of God, counselling them in the difficulties that they had to contend with, encouraging them to persevere, and showing them how to do the work they had undertaken. Some of the converts resided in other parts of London, and they soon commenced themselves to hold meetings, and to win souls in their own localities. I was entreated to care for these also... I was... driven to select men and women who I knew to be lovers of souls and living holy lives, for the purpose of caring for these new converts... The Lord was with them in great power, and hundreds of wicked and godless people were converted and united together in separate societies." (General William Booth)

From this quote, we were challenged to come up with an acronym that would suggest the key discipleship principles for Salvationists as according to General Booth.

ICES is the acronym we came up with.

I = Intentional - General Booth met with these new converts weekly, in order to disciple them.
C = Counsel - General Booth counselled them in the difficulties they were experiencing.
E = Encourage - General Booth encouraged them to persevere.
S = Show - General Booth showed them how to do the work they had undertaken.

This is a simple and yet effective way to disciple those in your sphere of influence. Be intentional in discipling those you wish to invest in, do life with them - counsel, encourage and show them how to get the job done. Then, encourage them to replicate this with people in their sphere of influence, people they will disciple.

Leader or Manager?

2009-03-31T23:23:00.001+11:00

One of the very fortunate things about being a Cadet in the Australia Southern Territory is that you have access to one of the world’s greatest leaders – General Eva Burrows. General Burrows was a significant leader not just for The Salvation Army, but her influence was used worldwide – not in spite of her being a woman – but because she was a woman. I know many non-Salvationists, and indeed non-Christians who admire General Burrows and the way in which she was able to achieve for Women and as a woman.

General Burrows ran our Christian Leadership A class last week at College. I took copious notes, and will gladly share those if you email me or ask me for them. But I want to focus on one thing that she talked about, which challenged, affirmed and inspired me in my leadership.

She quoted a retiring Admiral from the American Navy who said:

“The Trouble with the American Navy is there are too many managers and not enough leaders.”

General Burrows stated that the difference between a leader and a manager is that a leader sets a vision and inspires and influences people to follow that vision, whereas a manager aims to maintain and control. She said that Stephen Covey states that:

“Managers are people who do things right, Leaders are people who do the right things.”

That got me thinking – I have served under many Officers who are “managers” in The Salvation Army. Even some who felt as though they were setting a vision, were in fact actually just managing their team to an outcome. True spiritual leaders have been harder to come by.

True leaders are servant-hearted. They look to Jesus for an example of how to lead, and find that Jesus in modelling leadership to His disciples, got down on His knees and washed the feet of His followers. Jesus spent a lot of time in prayer. To be a true leader, we need to follow Jesus. We need to pray, we need to humble ourselves and serve others. And we need to trust that God who places a vision in our heart will equip us to bear fruit through that vision.

I believe, that the trouble with The Salvation Army today is that there are too many managers and not enough leaders. But I truly believe that is changing. I believe there is a renewal of spirit in the Army and that God is refreshing the vision for The Salvation Army.

I believe our best days are ahead of us, not behind us.

I believe that the Emergent view – that focus not on God being found in the Corps building, but in serving our community with the love of God, actively spreading the Good News (not to grow our Corps Sunday meetings, but to grow the Kingdom of God )– is going to bring about a new revolution in The Army that takes us back to the numbers of transformations seen in early days.

Why do I believe this? Because each day I am in community with 25 other Ambassadors of Holiness and a Training College filled with staff who are challenged, challenging and inspired to bring about God’s Kingdom on earth – and the early vision of The Salvation Army – To Win The World For Jesus!

37 people have come to know Christ as a direct result of Ambassadors of Holiness & College Staff being motivated by that vision, and following Jesus’ model for leadership since we started College this year. But we’re believing for more.

Are you going to be a leader? Will you buy into this vision? Or are you happy to continue managing?

Is it time to call a spade a spade?

2009-03-24T13:16:00.003+11:00

We’re currently doing the Hands that Heal training in sex-traffiking in preparation for the Brothel Chaplaincy ministry some of us female Cadets are about to take up.

Perri (our dear friend, and great trainer!) was talking about how we need to call these things for what they are. So instead of saying Sex-worker, we need to say Prostituted Person or Victim (thanks to Estelle & Captain Steve Court for pointing out the difference between prostitute and prostituted person). Instead of saying “client” we need to call them “Perpetrator”. This goes against a lot of my social work training – where we’re taught to use “politically correct terms”. It’s a challenge for me, but I have been thinking a lot about this, and I honestly think it’s important to do this.

The terms we use today have totally “normalized” what sex-work is. IT’s made it as though what is happening is okay – and whilst at no point would I EVER judge a woman who has wound up in prostitution, I do think that by normalizing it, we make out that it’s okay that there are people who are willing to pay for sex – who are willing to devalue the life of another for their own personal gratitude.

Just after I started thinking this through, I caught the last 5 minutes of a TV show called ‘Secret Diary of a Call Girl’. It’s essentially about a call girl and her life. It seemed to have quite a “positive” message at the end of this show – that the decisions this girl had made, cost her greatly in relationships – that she was unable to keep a relationship as a result of her line of work.

So, thinking I might actually be able to use this to strengthen my prep work for this ministry, I jumped online and watched a few episodes of the show – and it really really upset me! For one thing, it not only normalizes prostitution and the men who pay for sex – it actually GLAMOURIZES it! I am quite concerned about this being seen as a “good option” for people who want to make good money. The danger of “normalizing” prostitution is that it:
(a) devalues those who are forced into this work – either because they are traffiked, or they feel it is their worth, or they have addiction problems etc.
and
(b) it makes it okay for men to exploit women for sex – for them to commit adultery with another woman (because surely it’s not adultery if they pay for it – WHAT?!?!)

One of the lines the character said at the beginning of the first episode was that she didn’t get into it because she was “touched” by some relative or something along those lines.

The thing is – I’ve met and become friends with a fair few prostitutes in my time. Not ONE of them started working because it was a “good” option. Every one I have met is an abuse victim – either sexual or physical – and prostitution is either what they think they are worth (their worth is in offering sex to men) or it’s a way of regaining power – they own their body.

One of the social workers I worked with in the past was a “madam” in a brothel, and she told me that every girl she ever worked with had some form of abuse in her life. That “normal” girls don’t “choose” that line of work – because it is often degrading and lonely work.

I’m not saying that 100% of girls who become prostitutes are abuse victims – but this show makes out like it’s “normal” for a girl to choose to work as a prostitute for money – and those girls are the minority not the majority.

So whilst this TV show does attempt to show some of the “darker” sides of prostitution – it still normalizes it – it still says that it’s okay – and the fact of the matter is that it’s not. It’s not ok to degrade someone by paying them for sex. You are a perpetrator, not a “client”. It is not okay to think your worth is to sell yourself for sex. You are worth so very much more than this.

I’m working on my language – but the truth of the matter is this – God loves each and every one of the women that we are about to start ministering to. He longs for them to know their worth, that He created them for a greater purpose and that He longs to bring them to a fullness in themselves. There’s no condemnation in Christ’s eyes, only love and a desire for so much more for their lives. So as we go in to these brothels, the message I’ll bring is “You are beautiful with God’s beauty, beautiful inside and out. God is with you” (Luke 1:28 – The Message).

So from here on in – I’m going to call a spade a spade. I’m going to de-normalize prostitution. Not out of judgement of the women involved – but out of pure concern that society thinks that this is okay – which I’m fairly sure grieves the heart of God.

What’s in a Name anyway?

2009-03-19T18:36:00.001+11:00

So I’m sitting in theology at the moment, we’re talking about the different names of God. (I’m not on the internet, I have this really handy thing called Windows Live Writer – download it, it’s live blogging at it’s best!) It’s an interesting one, because in our limited language skills we would never be able to fully and adequately describe all of who God is.

When talking to Abraham, God names Himself YHWH (or Yahweh), which translated means “I am” (or “I am who I am”). We are learning that Jewish people do not mention the name YHWH, because it is the holiest of holy names. Wow! Imagine having something SO holy you couldn’t even mention it! They got around this by talking about Jireh (God who provides), Rohi (The Lord is my Shepherd), Shalom (The Lord is peace).

Also, in Bible times, the Jewish people would use the word “El”, the common word of the day that was used to describe the gods. So God becomes El-Shaddai (God of the mountains – or the Almighty God), El-Roi (the God who sees), El-Olam (God of eternity or the eternal God).

Each of these names have a story to them. For example, Jireh – God who provides – was the name that Abraham used for God after He spared Isaac from being sacrificed (Genesis 22), God is a God who provides. Or El-Roi – was the name Hagar used when she was sent away by Abraham & Sarah after the birth of Ishmael – and she cried out to God who saw her – thus – the God who sees.

We were challenged to think about what words we would use to describe God. For me, I guess it would be most in-line with Hagar – to me, God sees me, for what I am, who I am – but beyond that – God loves who He sees.

What would be the names you would use to describe God – who is God for you? Is He the God who cares? The God who sees? The God who challenges? If you had to name God – what would the name be that you would choose?

Black Saturday

2009-03-18T21:03:00.001+11:00

Well it’s been a while since I wrote. Partly it’s because I’ve known what I’ve wanted to cover, but not really known how to say it.

The tragic events of Black Saturday are at the forefront of so many people’s minds, even now, over a month after they happened. It’s hard to find someone in Victoria who hasn’t either lost a loved one, or know of someone who has. I guess that’s what happens when at least 210 people lose their lives and over 7,000 people are left displaced.

The Salvation Army Training College sent us Cadets out to serve in the various Relief Centres around Victoria. This was an absolute privilege and the frustrating thing was how limited we were in the help we could offer.

That brings me though to what I want to write about. The most frustrating thing of all of it for me, was how many times I heard various volunteers say “I did this” or “I did that” or “I got to…” like there is some badge of honour for the work that was being done. The flip side of this was the people who would complain “I was only folding clothes” or “I didn’t even meet a survivor of the fires, I was stuck cleaning all day!”

We should not put our hands up to help at these things if at the end of the day it is about me feeling like a good person. It’s not a matter of glamour people – or something to write home about – something to brag about. Naturally everyone wants to help in times of crisis, but at the end of the day – it’s not about you.

God calls us to love and serve. Sometimes that service will involve folding clothes, other times it will involve sitting with a survivor who is struggling to make sense of what has just happened.

Let’s remember, at the end of the day – it’s not about us – it’s about loving and serving those who lost everything – no matter how “glamorous” our part in that was.

To Be Holy...

2009-02-04T19:29:00.002+11:00

So today we had a rehearsal for our Welcome to Cadets on Sunday afternoon. Basically it's a celebration of the people in our Session and their decision to follow God's call to become Salvation Army Officers. It's kind of a big deal for the Army world.

Anyway, we were singing our Sessional Song - an awesome song written by Marty Mikles, and Brian Hogg was conducting us and urged us to really listen to the words. He commented on one of the lines that says "May our lives be the reflection of who You are", and he got us to think about the word THE being used there where usually people would say A. May our lives be THE reflection of who Christ is. WOW! Not some namby-pamby glimpse of the reflection of Christ, but THE reflection.

The song has been written to inspire and challenge the Ambassadors of Holiness. We're called to be holy, as Christ is holy. That's quite a challenge. If it's achieved, our lives truly can be the the reflection of who Christ is.

So over the next two years, that's what I'm praying for... I'm praying that I will be able to be the reflection of Christ. That when people look at me, they have an encounter with the Saviour of the world.

Suck It Up Princess!!!

2009-02-03T22:55:00.003+11:00

Okay so I've just gotten through my first week of classes at Colelge - granted they are Orientation, but to be honest, I've been blessed every step of the way. There's not been one day or one thing we've done that's made me go "ugh" and even the "house duties" (cleaning) isn't all that bad... when you know why you're here and you have CHOSEN to have a good attitude about things, it really does make a difference.

For example - we've been given the "Stoke It Up Challenge" which basically is our Training Principal's way of getting us (a) working as a team and (b) to challenge ourselves out of our comfort zone. Some of you Australia Southern guys will know that this challenge caused quite the "outrage" a few years ago when it was first given, and people were annoyed or frustrated or scared or whatever to take it for what it is. Yes there are some things on the challenge that are said kind of in jest - but kind of not - things like using Phillips Airways (ie teleporting yourself) because lets face it - if any of us had the faith to actually do it - we totally would! Some people are offended by the suggestion we can raise the dead... I question why? Jesus did, the disciples did, the bible says that we can do all things Jesus did - so why be offended? Has anyone I know seen anyone raised from the dead? No! But something tells me that these things are on the list, not because it would be cool to see them happen - but as an exercise in testing our faith. Do we really believe what the bible says about what we can do? And if so, do we have the faith to act on it even if it means we "fail"?

There are a few people who have been a bit negative about the activity. I just simply don't see why! I think it's a good thing to get us working as teams and getting out onto the streets doing things to stretch us, our faith and our experience of God.

I will admit that tonight I was taken WAAAAYYYYY out of my comfort zone...like ridiculously so! My friend Rachel and I took the challenge to the streets of St Kilda tonight, and tried our hand at street evangelism. Neither of us are really keen on this form of evangelism, basically as we don't feel we are very good at it. We went and asked God to stretch us... and stretch us He did! We chatted to a few people who were happy to say hi but that was it, a man who chatted to us for a while about his ailments but wouldn't allow us to pray for him, and a Salvo guy I'd known from my childhood.

We were starting to lose a bit of faith in the activity and I'll admit I was starting to feel a bit negative when three things happened:
1. I was reminded gently in my spirit of the nickname we'd come up with for the challenge (to challenge those who were negative about it) - that being the "Suck It Up" challenge - and I said to myself "Suck it Up Princess - do the task"...
2. My friend Rachel said to me "Maybe this is a test of our faith and perserverance".
3. Not long after that, we met a man who initiated the God conversation after we introduced ourselves! He was 99.9% sure there was a God he just needed PROOF. So we chatted to him for ages, sharing our testimonies and talking about what we believe. Then we got to pray for him!! What an awesome God we serve! A God who is ever wanting to show up for us when we start to doubt ourselves!

So my new message to myself is Suck It Up Princess!! You can't be a warrior princess if you are too scared to get out of your comfort zone.

I challenge you to do the same...find something you're not so sure about and do it!! God will be faithful, even if the lesson is perserverance! :)

Blessings to you all xoxoxxo

I'm Talking to the (Wo)Man In The Mirror

2009-01-05T00:30:00.002+11:00

Man, God's really been kicking my butt about a few things lately. About a massive sin I've been trying to hide. The reality is that I can't hide it anymore, becuase it's hurting me and it's hurting others.

That sin is caring more about what some people think of me than I do about what GOD thinks of me. That sin is believing the lies that have been sewn in my heart, lies that I'm too much and not enough all at the same time. Lies that if people really knew me they wouldn't like me. Lies that I'm not worthy to be an officer, or a Christian, or anything of value.

The funny thing is, I spend half my life speaking TRUTH into young girls lives. Telling them what their worth is, that Christ loves and believes in them, that Christ thinks they're highly favoured, that they are enough, that they can do anytihng Christ requires of them with His strength. But when I look in the mirror I realize that I haven't been believing that truth for myself.

The biggest problem is, that the enemy has been using so many different ways to "confirm" the lies to me. Friends telling me I'm not a good enough friend, friends totally changing the way they look at me - if they even look at me anymore, people talking behind my back, people distancing themselves from me. Some of these are very real, written in black and white, some are my interpretation of something that perhaps isn't really even happening... perhaps the other persons side looks totally different, I honestly wouldn't know because I'm too caught up in believing the lie the situation has confirmed to me.

Tonight, that happened. And as I was lying in bed just now, the lines from that Michael Jackson song sprung to mind "I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways, And no message could have been any clearer, if you wanna make this workd a better place, take a look at yourself and then make the change"

So to the woman staring back at me in the mirror...and perhaps to the man or woman staring back at YOU in the mirror.

You are worthy.
You are enough.
You are not too much.
People do know the real you and they like you.
You are a daughter (or perhaps for you son) of the most High God.
You are reedeemed and forgiven.
You are highly favoured.

I'm going to try to stop trying to be who everyone else wants me to be, and remember who Christ wants me to be. I'm going to try to stop worrying that my friends don't like me, or stressing over petty arguments with people. I'm gong to make ammends when I am wrong, and seek forgiveness. But I'm going to let go when I am right. There's no need for justice, that's God's business. I'm going to start listening to what God thinks of me, and the truth in that.

And for some of the girls I've been chatting to about this - I want you to do the same! - we'll pray the simple prayer every day until it becomes such a part of us that we don't even have to question it anymore:

God,
Forgive me for caring more about what others think of me than what You do.
Help me to realize my worth in You.
Help me to help others realize their worth in You.
Thank you that in Your eyes, I am enough, I am worthy, and I am loved.
Amen.

Daughters of the King....

2008-12-31T12:38:00.002+11:00

This one goes out to the boys who read my blog. And it's going to be harsh, and I don't apologise.

I am sick to the back teeth of all the sexist innuendo that seems to dominate the boys club in most groups. I'm not surprised by it, but I'm sick of it. I'm tired of all the "girls should be in the kitchen or the bedroom" jokes - they're simply NOT funny. I'm most disappointed when I hear these jokes, and this attitude coming from CHRISTIAN men. It's not very Christ-like boys and it HAS TO STOP!

We often joke in our group that "words have power" but you know what, it's not a joke, words really do have power. And I'm starting to witness a few of the younger girls I'm in close relationship with be stripped of their worth by guys that think they are being funny. NOT ONCE did Jesus EVER make a woman feel like a second-class citizen. NOT ONCE did Jesus EVER encourage men to shame a woman - in fact if we look at the story of the woman caught in an adulterous relationship and in danger of being stoned to death, Jesus went TOTALLY against the grain and defended her stating that "He who is without sin cast the first stone" He then goes on to tell her that He doesn't condemn her and she is to go and sin no more. (you can read this in John 8:1-11).

To say it's just "boys being boys" is not a good enough response in a Christian circle. I'm sorry boys, but it's just not good enough. For some guys it is just a joke, and they totally and utterly respect women, but for some, and I'm seeing this increasingly, it actually goes deeper than that. They're actually disrespecting the women in their lives in other ways - perhaps treating them as a sexual object, dismissing their opinion, treating them as second class, or stripping them of any real value or worth. This is dangerous ground, and it's time those of you men who know your GODLY place in a woman's life started standing up and fighting this attitude!

I'm so thankful to God for placing some amazing men in my life. I have some men who not only value and respect me, they actually go out of their way to remind me of my worth, of my value to them and to Christ. Men like my father, go out of their way to let the women in their life feel valued and supported. They seek their advice, and appreciate their giftings. I could name at least a dozen good Christian men like that, men that walk so closely with Christ, the idea of degrading a woman doesn't even cross their mind. I have indeed been very blessed in my life with such men!

So I'm on a new rampage - if you're a Christian man in my life, or in the life of any of the girls I am in contact with watch out - it's time to start remembering that the women in your lives are Princesses, they are daughters of the MOST HIGH King... and you are to respect, love and value them accordingly. Be prepared for quoted scriptural passages, and well thought out and theologically checked arguments if you even try to disrespect one of these Princesses.

And to all my sisters out there - learn your worth, learn you are highly favoured by the Creator of the Universe, learn that you have a valid voice...and use it to demand the respect YOU deserve!

Be blessed xx

Plastic Fantastic?!

2008-12-29T17:55:00.002+11:00

Okay, so I've got another bee in my bonnet. It's something I've been speaking with a few friends about, and something that my dear friend - the other Sarah E - has noted on facebook...and that's the phenomena of the "Fake" person.

I'm so over people being complete chameleon's... you know, changing who they are depending on their environment or who they're with. No obviously, we show slight changes in personality around different people. I know I'm definately more "myself" with some of my friends, than I am with others. I know that I'm definately more quiet and reserved in my opinions and feelings and views around some groups of people. That's not what I'm talking about at all, because truth be known, my friends wouldn't look at me in another group and say "Who is she?!"

No what I'm talking about is when someone is completely different. Perhaps they are a mature Christian person who you call upon for advice, and then you see them acting in a way that both disappoints you and calls you to question whether they really are someone you can trust to give you advice? Or perhaps someone is really nasty to you when you're alone or in one group, but then acts as though they are your best friend when you are with another group. I think they're as bad as each other to be honest.

I am loving the movie "Twilight" at the moment, and in one scene, Bella turns to Edward and says "Your mood swings are giving me whiplash"... and THAT's what I'm talking about. The sort of "fake" that makes you question whether they are actually your friend or not.

You see, God calls us to be honest and real. To be true to ourselves and who HE has called us to be. Friends who you need to change in order to impress, are not really friends. And that's the hard reality I've learned this last few weeks. A dear session mate and close friend of mine, Sare, gave me a really good way to assess whether you are being fake or not. She said that you should think of the most holy person you know, someone who you really truly respect and love, and think about whether you would act the same way you are acting in front of them. I'd take it a step further. When I'm with my friends, I like to imagine Jesus is sitting next to me and watching my behaviour and I can see Him right there - would I be saying and doing the same things I am now?! Would I be childish? Or nasty? Or moody? Would I talk trashy? Would I disrespect other people?

The answer is and should be no.

Holiness Unto The Lord

2008-11-21T10:07:00.006+11:00

So, I'm officially accepted as a Candidate for Salvation Army Officer Training in the "Ambassadors of Holiness" session for 2009. What a journey this has been so far, I can only imagine what lies ahead!

The excitement builds with each new session mate added to the list - there are 24 of us now in the Australia Southern Territory session. 24 people who will live, study and serve together for 2 years. 24 people who will grapple with what it means to be a Salvation Army Officer, and moreover, what it means to be an Ambassador of Holiness. I'm excited by the prospects for our group. Already there are some deep friendships developing, and whilst I of all people know that community living is hard (been there, fought that! haha!), I also know that at the essense of every true community is a deep friendship, affection and love for each other. I sense we're already developing that before we even make it to training! Praise God!

Salvationists of old would use the statement "Holiness Unto The Lord", and I've been thinking about what that means... I know the journey ahead of me is going to be tough. I am well aware of that. But as I strive towards holiness, I aim to bring others into a relationship with a Holy God, a God who longs to help them lead a holy life.

I leave you with a passage I'm meditating on at the moment, I'll probably write more about it in the coming weeks/months, but for now, I leave you with it for your consideration.

"So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God's obedient children. Don't slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn't know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, "You must be holy because I am holy." .... You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply and with all your heart."
(1 Peter 1:13-16 & 22)

If you wanna be my lover...

2008-11-10T21:59:00.009+11:00

You gotta buy me a ring! lol! For the record... this is not about sex, so you can stop reading if that's what caught your eye!

Now, can I just say at the outset, this is not an Agony Aunt column, I'm not asking for advice on how to snag a man, or anything like that. This is simply my thoughts, prayers and observations about relationships. Take it for what it's worth, it's just something I'm working through.

Over the past few months, I've been seriously thinking about relationships, and what it is I'm looking for within one. I guess it's natural to be thinking of such things before Training College, because - well lets face it - the pool of available men just got a whole lot smaller - or as I like to say "more refined!"

Within looking at what it is that I'm searching for in a partner, I've been praying a lot. One of the things that has really struck me is that I actually have a great desire to be a "biblical wife", which is not literally a Proverbs 31 woman (spindling clothes, being up before dawn to take care of everyone, meeting merchant ships etc.,) but to be someone for whom the needs of her husband and children are taken care of with love and grace. So I started reading all the instructions on what it means to be a biblical wife, and a passage that really struck me was in Ephesians Chapter 5:21-33:

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.

As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Wow right?! That's what I'm looking for. I totally want to submit to my husband, I totally want to be someone who treats her husband with the love and respect he deserves as the head of the household... but the thing is, he's got a massive job to do there - he's to love me as Christ loves the church - laying his life down for it. WOW!

So I was pondering that a bit (and talking to a million people about it), and what that all means. I truly believe that a biblical marriage starts from the first date. That respect and love and honour has to be there from the beginning of the relationship. Which for me means, I want the man to make the first move. If he wants me to submit to him, he must show the biblical authority he's been given in our relationship... and a lot of guys have MASSIVE issues with my ideas about this. They don't think it should be the man that makes the first move, which for me is a big thing.

So I was praying about this a bit (okay, so I was lamenting on this a bit!) and I woke up early one morning with statement in my mind, which I know was a "God thing" for me (this is how I recognize God's voice) - "Sarah, you deserve to be pursued!"

I deserve to be pursued. I will know the man I am to be with because he will pursue me. He will love and honour me and lay his pride down in order to actually say "I choose you, you are someone I want to explore what it might mean to be in a covenant relationship with" (not literally those words lol - more "hey Sare, wanna give us a go or what?" would be sufficient! lol)... and it will start from the first date. I truly believe, he will look over at me one day and see my spiritual beauty (the one talked about in 1 Peter 3:1-6). And he will act upon that.

The thing is, I was talking to a friend the other day and he said "The problem for us guys is, we don't know when a girl even likes us anymore - you're so confusing". So within that idea of a woman submitting to her husband as to the Lord, and a husband being to a wife as Christ is to the church - I began to think. What if I first need to say to that man that I want him to pursue me. I mean, I had to accept Christ into my life, I had to invite him in. So is that all that's needed? Perhaps I don't make it obvious enough to these amazing spiritual men around me that they are great, they are awesome, they are definately someone I would want and allow to pursue me!

Relationships are just so difficult, so hard to manage!

So, "If you wanna be my lover"... you've got to know that in God's eyes - I deserve to be pursued, and that my hearts desire, is to be a biblical wife! And a word of advice for all you fellas out there - be a man, look for the spiritually beautiful woman, and pursue her! She deserves it, and you will be blessed for it! If she doesn't accept your advances - don't give up, think yourself lucky that when you pursue the "right" woman, it will all have been worth it!

Okay - enough sappy junk, I'm back to work! lol

Holy is as Holy does!

2008-10-07T01:43:00.003+11:00

Wow, wow, wow is all I have to say!

I've had the absolute honour of spending a few days this past week in both worship and ministry with some of my (hopefully!) future fellow Ambassadors Of Holiness. And to be honest, for the first time in my ENTIRE life, I feel more than happy - I feel content!

It's a great feeling to be "released" from the stuff that you hold onto isn't it?! On Thursday night, I headed in to ACC, and whilst Commissioner Joe Noland was great, I actually got more out of some conversations I had with one of my future session mates. He & I have been going through some similar stuff, and it made me realize that there is an enemy out there who must be shaking in his boots, because he's throwing all he possibly can to trip us up!

I started to get a little excited by this idea, and on Friday I spent a lot of the day praying that God would give me an opportunity to spend more time exploring what that might be. So on Friday night, I returned to ACC, and again was sitting with a future session mate. Both of us have a strong call to international service in The Salvation Army, and both of us have a strong feeling that our session will see many of us serve overseas. After the service, I spent some time in conversation and prayer with him, and felt a real sense of peace that God has already gone before me, and prepared the way... so I need to FEAR NOT!

After ACC, a group of us went out for dinner, with some friends, and as I looked around the table, I realized how much my friendship group had already changed in the past six months or so, and was going to change in the future. I looked around and saw my future... and the future was exciting!

On Sunday, James & Sarah Thompson came to run our new service "Laos" (more about that in another post), and for the first time, I got an opportunity to actually MINISTER alongside some of my future session mates, with Sarah leading worship, Simon playing in the band & James preaching. WHAT AN AMAZING NIGHT! Earlier in the day James had told me that Janet Munn had prayed "God we want you to show up and show off!" and we had a real sense that God would do that at Laos that night... and you know what?! HE DID!

I've never been in a more Holy-Spirit filled meeting in all of my life. People were genuinely moved by the Spirit of God, healed and released from their physical, emotional and spiritual pain and baggage. It was quite simply A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I'm often quite nervous about leading anything, but I felt with those three by my side, I could literally do anything, because I felt the presence of God working in and through them, and I didn't fear anything! We prayed with and for each other, and that's all we needed.

So today... I'm glad to say that I genuinely do trust that God is in control of my life and my future. I know that He is calling me to be an Ambassador of Holiness with those amazing people, who will challenge & inspire me and who will walk this journey of ministry with me the rest of my life. And the thing is... there's even more of them out there I feel exactly the same about!

So in the words of my favourite song from my not-so-favourite-but-still-rather-fond-of musical "Fame" -

"Bring on tomorrow, let it shine! Like the sun coming up on a beautiful day, it's yours and mine...we can make a difference, it's not to late... bring on tomorrow! I CAN'T WAIT!"

(Ok Theatre Geek...I know it... whatever, God made me that way! lol!)

Go together like a Horse and Carriage

2008-08-27T20:46:00.003+10:00

As you can tell, I’m kinda on a “Salvation Army” distinctive rant at the moment. I think it’s probably because I’m passionate about our Army. I’m passionate about the movement we were, and the movement we are called to be. I’m concerned about some of the present trends and practices, and I’m reflecting on what I believe about them – keeping in mind that as an Officer in The Salvation Army – in the future, I will be in a position of leadership, at the very least (though I think it’s the most!) at a local level.

One of the things I’m really concerned about is the almost complete isolation of our Social Services and our Corps from each other. There are many amazing integrated ministries across our Territory, but at this stage, not every Social Service/Programme is attached to a Corps. More concerning for me though, is that not every Corps has aligned itself with a Social Service/Programme.

William Booth quoted many times the importance of having both, though I’m sure he never had in mind the split we have at the moment. Booth proclaimed “Soup, Soap, Salvation!” in that order… and was quoted as saying “But what is the use of preaching the Gospel to men whose whole attention is concentrated upon a mad, desperate struggle to keep themselves alive?” You see, yes, we were indeed called to be a Christian Movement, to spread the love of God to everyone we meet, to share the message of Jesus, and to bring people into the Kingdom. There was always, and should always, be a leaning towards the poor and marginalized within our community.

Booth also warned against becoming purely a Charity when he stated:
“To get a man soundly saved it is not enough to put on him a pair of new breeches, to give him regular work, or even to give him a University education. These things are all outside a man, and if the inside remains unchanged you have wasted your labor. You must in some way or other graft upon the man's nature a new nature, which has in it the element of the Divine.”

Corps & Social, Social & Corps…they go together, the are not separate entities. When we look at Jesus ministry, did He ever say “Well today, I’m all about building my church, let’s leave the work of healing the sick to the doctors, and serving the poor to the social workers, I’m called to build the church!”…. NO!! (“TEN THOUSAND TIMES NO!!”) Jesus constantly and consistently led His disciples to the poor, to being on the move, serving community after community, person after person, exactly where they are at. Not expecting them to go to a fully established service with professionals, or to come to a church and act as they should, in order to be accepted. No! It was quite the opposite… Jesus went out, and served people where they were at, and in turn, those people became followers of Him. So if we are truly honestly Christians (which is to say we are FOLLOWERS of Christ) then we are called to do likewise… to serve people and love them exactly as they are… and in turn, to trust that their Saviour will fill them with the hope they need to fight their battles and demons. How can we do that, when we are so comfortable in our churches?

Now I’ve worked in both Corps & Social, I see the value in both. I love both. I am able to see that one cannot, and must not exist without the other. I’m tired of Salvationists whinging and moaning that our Social Centres are staffed by non-Christians. To those that do, I say… where are you? Have you gone and studied, to become qualified in a field, so that you might serve our Social Centres? The buck has to stop with someone… can it stop with you?

We are so quick as Salvationists to judge the Army, but often, I find, we’re not overly quick to do anything about it! If you are an accountant, are you working for the Army? If you’re a teacher, are you working for the Army? If you are a social worker, are you working for the Army? How about if you are a cook, or a cleaner, or a receptionist? Because we’re desperate for all those roles, and whilst Salvationists are not getting trained up and working in them, we’re having to employ non-Christians. Perhaps if you can't work for the Army, you've got a few hours a week to help out at one of our Centres? You have no idea how much that would bless the staff!

Those of you who are qualified and are working for the Army, are you being a true expression of Salvationism within your job? Are your co-workers respecting you because you are giving above and beyond your job’s requirement? Or do you slack off and expect to cut corners because you’re a Salvo? This isn’t a judgement, I know many many BRILLIANT Salvationists who are serving God by using their skills and giftings by working for The Army. But sadly, many of our Social Centre managers have not such a great idea of Salvo’s working for The Army, and it had to come from somewhere. These are questions I ask of myself constantly in my work. When I turn up to work at welfare or in housing, am I a good example of The Salvation Army, not only to the clients, but also to my colleagues? Because if I’m not, I’m part of the problem not the solution!

And in our Corps… when someone from one of our Social Centres come along, do you introduce yourself? Do you offer to get them a coffee, or lend a listening ear? Do you sit with them, and explain what’s going on in our Services? Or are you expecting others to do it? You see, if we truly want to see our Corps grow, we need to start asking these tough questions of ourselves. We were not designed to be a middle-class church, we were created and formed to be a movement showing the love of Christ by serving others.

We’re a hard core movement… are you ready? Are you willing? Would you lay down your life for it? Because the Army needs militant Salvationists… it needs people who are going to say “Here I am Lord, take ALL of me”, because without those Salvationists, we’re nothing but a happy clappy church or a charity… the future is in our hands… decisions need to be made… I’ve made mine… have you?

I leave you with a challenge from our Founder, General William Booth in 1910 (most of you know it already, and some bits are possibly misquoted, to which I apologise):

“I am glad you're enjoying yourselves. The Salvationist is the friend of happiness. Making heaven on earth is our business. "Serve the Lord with gladness" is one of our favourite mottos. So I am pleased that you are pleased.

But amidst all of your joys, don't forget the sons and daughters of misery. Do you ever visit them? Come away and let us make a call or two.

Here is a home, six in family. They eat and drink and sleep and sicken and die in the same chamber.

There is a drunkard's hovel, void of furniture, wife a skeleton, children in rags, father maltreating the victims of his neglect.

Here are the unemployed wandering about seeking work and finding none.

Yonder are the wretched criminals, cradled in crime, tracking in and out of the prisons all the time.

There are the daughters of shame, deceived and wronged and ruined, travelling down the dark incline to an early grave.

There are the children, fighting in the gutters, going hungry to school, growing up to fill their parents' places.

Brought it all on themselves do you say? Perhaps so, but that does not excuse our assisting them. You don't demand a certificate of virtue before you drag the drowning creature out of the water. Nor the assurance that a man has paid his rent before you deliver him from the burning building.

But what shall we do? Content ourselves by singing a hymn, offering a prayer or giving a little good advice?

No, ten thousand times, no.

We will pity them, feed them, reclaim them, employ them. Perhaps we shall fail with many -quite likely. But our business is to help them all the same and that in the most practical, economical and Christ-like manner.

So let us haste to the rescue for the sake of our own peace, the poor wretches themselves (seen as the children) and the Saviour of us all.

But you must help with the means. And as there is nothing like the present, who in this company will lend a hand by taking up a collection?”

What on earth IS a COMMUNITY Church?!

2008-08-11T13:21:00.003+10:00

Okay, so whilst my soapbox is ready for a work out, I thought I'd cover the next little gripe I have at the moment.

It's still in line with the whole "forgetting who we are in order to be more 'relevant'" line of thought. It's a question about the current trend in changing our name from Corps to Community Church - or in some cases just becoming a Community Church and dropping name of The Salvation Army all together!!

Why oh Why oh Why oh Why?! Seriously?! I did a bit of a vox pop of some of my (for want of a better word) non-church going or non-believing friends. The two questions I asked was "What do you think when you hear the words Community Church" and "What do you think when you hear the words The Salvation Army".

To the first the answers were:
"boring and irrelevant", "doesn't fit into my life", "hypocritical and outdated", "money hungry", and the most concerning I think were "judgemental" and "abuse".

To the second:
"You silly!... kind", "caring & compassionate", "tamborines and marching bands haha, nah they do great work with people", "my favourite organisation to give money", "always there to lend a hand", and "great...no awesome".

When I asked whether they knew that The Salvation Army was also a church - they all said yes, when I asked if they knew that before they knew me, all bar 2 said they did. So I investigated a little further, I said "So if you think that the church is (insert their word here) and you know that The Salvation Army are also a church, why do you think that church is (insert their word here) but The Salvation Army is (insert their comment)?"

These were the answers:

"Oh yeah we know you're a church, but you're not like that Hillsong one", "Yeah but we figured you're a church there to help people, not hurt them", "Well I dont' know what's different but you are", "Guess I never thought about it much", "Because you take the bible seriously and the others dont? Who knows!" and a "hmmm...dunno".

(*** I need to note that some of these friends were people that I went through my leaving the Army stage with, so even knowing what I went through, that's their comments - I think that in itself speaks volumes!)

So if this is just a vox pop of a group of friends that I know...what does the general public in your community think?

A friend of my father's, who worked for a PR firm, once did a focus group for The Salvation Army and found that according to it and their research, The Salvation Army had a 97% approval rating with the general public. 97%! That's huge! So why on earth would you want to make yourself a Community Church when the so many non-believers see the Church as either money hungry, judgemental or irrelevant, but the general public approves of The Salvation Army?! If you're trying to make yourself more "seeker friendly" just drop the Corps (which I disagree with), and be The Salvation Army in your community!

But in reality - are we doing it for the non-believers, or are we doing it to bring ourselves in line with other churches? I fear that, we are actually doing to be in line with other churches. We want to be seen as worthy. We want to be seen as just as good as the church down the road, not to compete for unbelievers but to compete for locals that are looking for a new church! But should we exist for the already believers?! Not that they don't deserve a church, but should we be working hard to win them over?!

I'm going to blog next about the Church vs. Social Program issue we've got at the moment, but should not our Corps exist to minister spiritually to the people we see through our Social Centre doors each week? To strengthen and support our Social Centre staff and Chaplains? To prepare our Soldiers for a week of ministering to the needy in their workplaces, their streets, and their places of study?

A few of the comments on my blog stated the dwindling Sunday attendance numbers over the past 10 years... I agree, it's a big issue. I find it interesting though to note, that in the past 10 years, we've been "losing our distinctives" in order to be like the other churches... Hillsong have been at their peak in the last 10 years yeah? We started dropping our old music (which I'm not saying doesn't need to be updated) in favour of "worship bands" playing their music - and yet our numbers aren't increasing like Hillsong's are, they're decreasing - why?! Because WE ARE NOT HILLSONG. WE ARE NOT THE BAPTIST CHURCH. WE ARE NOT THE UNITING CHURCH. WE ARE NOT THE AOG Church. Or any other church for that matter. WE ARE THE SALVATION ARMY.

When were our numbers at an all time high?! When our Soldiers and Officers were out serving the needy in our communities. When new Corps were opening weekly in the darkest suburbs of our cities and nations. I'm not waxing poetic about our history here... it just seems common sense to me that we started to see a dwindling in numbers the second we started focussing on our "church" and not enough on our "community"... so if you want to be a Community Church - I commend you - but don't start with a name change - start with being active and present in your Community. Start serving the poor and lost and lonely and needy in your community. Start being THE SALVATION ARMY - and you'll see numbers increase. Need more evidence? Check out the ever-growing work of the 614 network internationally, Brunswick Salvos, Shop 16 in Reservoir, Ingle Farm in South Australia, Street Level in Sydney - and countless other Corps who are actively going after serving the people they come in contact with. They are seeing ever growing "bums on seats" on a Sunday! Seems to me something works there!

I leave you with a Florence Booth quote... it's a part of a quote I plan to blog entirely about one day... something to make us all think about...

She said "Do not imitate the Church. Let your great aim be to raise an Army that shall glorify God by fighting His battles.”

The Times They Are A Changin'?!

2008-08-05T14:41:00.001+10:00

I’ve got a couple of things to get on my soapbox about at the moment, so over the next week or so, I’m going to be exploring/venting/discussing these. I am interested in your opinions on it, but I’m saying at the outset that if you become abusive in any way shape or form towards anyone personally, your post will not be published.

So, let’s begin with The Salvation Army as it currently stands in worship on a Sunday. I (and many others) believe that the things that make The Salvation Army distinct and unique seem to be the very things many are fighting against and getting rid of.

For instance, let’s look at the Songsters – some of our Corps are busy trying to build the best worship band they can, at the cost of Songsters (or choir), with many of our songster groups closing down entirely. The same is happening with our brass bands, our timbrels and many other groups that have been successful ministries for many many years. And there is a rather loud group – which I’d like to think were in the minority, but are so loud they seem to be the majority – that say “good riddance! They’re irrelevant – let’s move on!”… But should we move on from what is tried and tested to work within our movement? Why are we getting rid of them? Is it because they are irrelevant? Or is it because they don’t seem to be as cool as what the church down the road has?

Now before we go on – I need to say that I am a great fan of modern worship songs – not such a great fan of the big mega-churches idea of worship songs – but a big fan of worship songs nonetheless. For instance – the work of the Soteira guys is brilliant – and Nathan Rowe and the team are an absolute asset to the Army. So as you continue to read, I ask you keep that in mind.

For those who argue our old ministries are irrelevant, I want to tell you a story about this weekend at my Corps. We were blessed by a visit from The Salvation Army Ringwood Corps Vocal Praise group (read songsters). This group sang many “oldie but goodie” songs, some of which had been arranged with a more contemporary feel, taking many of us back to some of our best Army memories. They also sang some great up-tempo gospel songs. And through their ministry, and that of their Corps Officers, Majors Colin & Di Corkery, a member of our congregation, a local man from our community, who has been battling the storms of life for some time now, was deeply moved. So deeply moved, he requested prayer and spent a large amount of time with our Officer praying and exploring faith issues. He joined the group for lunch and the afternoon concert where he enjoyed the ministry of the South Barwon Corps Band and the Ringwood Corps Vocal Praise group. Not relevant?! Seemed pretty relevant to him!

Whilst we’re on the “not relevant” bandwagon – let’s have a look at some trends in Australia & the Western world’s “non-church” cultures:

· With recent hit TV shows such as “Choir of Hard Knocks” & “Battle of the Choirs”, Community Choirs across Australia are experiencing an increase of numbers of people joining. So if the Songsters aren’t relevant, why aren’t Corps establishing a “Community Choir?” By merely changing the focus slightly from being a tool for enrichment in our meetings, they can become an Evangelistic tool, and in the same way continue to enrich our meetings!
· Each year, there is a National Brass Band Championships – this competition is not dying out with age! In fact bands such as the “Tramways Band” are seeing increasing numbers of young people join. Schools are using brass players in swing bands, orchestras and the likes. The Salvation Army once held the monopoly on the “best” brass players in the state, and perhaps even in the country – a monopoly that is lost now as more and more of our Corps Bands close. Kids are still learning brass at school, there is still the demand, but we’ve missed the boat. Not relevant?! Not appreciated more like it. Bring on the Melbourne Staff Band’s visit to South Barwon later in the year, I CAN’T WAIT!
· Timbrels – a hotly contended topic within The Salvation Army. My personal opinion for you Salvos out there is that unless you are a bando – or a former timbrel player – I’m not interested in your comments that Timbrels are irrelevant. Now there’s always been a “love/hate” relationship between the timbrels and band in our Corps – but even some of the most hardened “bando’s” who taunt that timbrel players are talent less and useless – will often when pushed admit it is in jest and that The Salvation Army has suffered a great loss by losing part of our culture. Interestingly enough, many of the “mainstream” churches are starting tambourine groups, some of which even call them “timbrel groups” and whenever I am out with friends and tell them I’m a Salvo, the first question I get asked is “Do you play the tambourine?”. Anzac Day – the old diggers in Geelong were teary when they saw the timbrel girls back. Not relevant?! Not appreciated.

Do we need to move with the times? Absolutely! Do we need to do church exactly the same way all the mega-churches and other local churches in our community model? Absolutely not!

It’s time we reclaimed some of our uniqueness and embraced it for what it is. It’s time we stopped trying to be cool in the eyes of whatever the latest church fad is (and let’s face it they change every two minutes!) and start doing what it is that we’ve done so well for so many years… let’s take back our culture and make it relevant. For if we don’t,… we’re no better than the other Community Churches out there… but that’s for another day!

Who Are The People In Your Neighbourhood?

2008-07-10T02:27:00.002+10:00

Have you ever done something not overly good for you and NOT QUITE learned your lesson from it? I mean you thought you learned your lesson, you thought you'd never be in that situation again, but sure enough...round it comes again, and you look back and say "OH...THAT was the lesson I was supposed to learn!!"

I'll explain more.

At the moment I'm doing my Pre-College Course for Salvation Army Officer Training next year. It's actually not a bad little course (STACKS of reading though!!) as it gets you to really look back on some situations that have happened in your life, that have shaped you into the person you are today, and reflect upon them.

It's come at a really timely stage for me (don't they always) as the very first reflection was about "way closing". In the exercise you are to think about times in your life that the "way" has closed for you, no matter how easy or painful it was, and what you learned from that about yourself.

For me, I immediately started to think of some of the stuff that's happened in the last 2 months, and how that has reflected back on some stuff that happened a couple of years ago. I remember being really down a few years back, and an incredibly wise woman of God saying to me "Sarah, I believe you are unhappy because you are not with your people!" We talked a little more about that, and I kind of understood what she meant (or so I thought). Essentially, I was working with some upper-working/middle-class Christians, and was trying to impart my love and passion for working with homeless, broken & marginalized people onto them. I was pouring all my efforts, somewhat fruitlessly at times, on trying to get THEM to see what an amazing gift it is when you can put aside what the world deems as success, and meet people who are in need of love & friendship right where they are at - as their equal, not as their "worker" or the likes. For some, they really got it, but I was so focussed on the few that didn't, that I was burning out fast!! So when I was told that I wasn't with "my people", I knew she was right.

It took a little while, but I ended up back working with homeless & marginalized people, and I was once again, happy and inspired. So inspired, I returned to working with The Salvation Army, again in an upper-working/middle class area, thinking that all my issues before would be different now because there are broken people in every community. And there are broken people in every community. But again, I started getting that inner-frustration that comes when you are trying and trying and trying to make things happen, and they're just not. I kept telling myself that it was all par for the course, and to "suck it up", and deal with it. But I was trying to fit a square peg (me) into a round hole (my job). I was trying to become the super-kids worker, the one that was able to do everything and who loves it all and is happy all the time. But deep inside, my heart was tugging me back to issues of justice, to being back with "my people".

This past two weeks, I've finally learned my lesson. The lesson is that I'm genuinely happier when I'm in a place where I'm meeting with people who are from all walks of life, but mostly, I'm at my happiest when I get to journey with people for whom life is really tough. I've started working at Bellerine Street, which is The Salvation Army's material aid centre in Geelong. I'm loving getting to know some of the people that come in, and I'm loving being able to chat with people and learn more about their journey, as well as sharing some of mine.

Last Sunday night, I went to Northside Salvos, and can I just tell you, I felt so... inspired afterwards. I had a great chat with a woman who was sharing how tough life has been for her, who has battled abuse and addiction for most of her precious life. We were chatting about the honesty of the streets, and how we constantly crave that genuine relationship, where people are upfront about their stuff. Where if they like you, you know it, and if they don't... you know it! We shared quite a bit that night, and it was great to be able just be in that space again.

Please don't get me wrong - when I talk about being with "my people" I'm not trying to own or patronize them in any way. I don't think I can fix them...if anything they fix me. It's genuinely easy for me to sit in the brokenness. Mostly, because I can't hide from my brokenness in the midst of it. Because when I sit with someone who's opening up their heart and life to me, warts and all, there is a beauty in the honesty. Because there is hope in the midst of hopelessness. But mainly, because I meet Jesus there. In the brokenness, in the pain, in the tears, but mostly, in the laughter and the joy that comes with genuine relationship. What a gift I get given each time.

Please don't read that I have any problem with people who struggle with living or ministering in the "marginalized" communities (man I wish there was a different word to use), or who believe their calling is to the middle class. I'm just simply saying that for me... when I read "the Word became flesh and blood moved into the neighbourhood"(John 1:14), I know that my neighbourhood is not the middle class.

I have learned my lesson - the people in my neighbourhood, the neighbourhood I want to live in - the neighbourhood I'm called to live in, created to live in - is filled with homeless people, beggars, abuse victims, the mentally ill, the hungry but mostly people who are broken and clinging to hope - just like me! :)

Father Abraham....

2008-06-11T23:53:00.003+10:00

So... there's some big news, many of you would have heard by now, but I felt I should blog about so as to dispel any rumours that may arise.

Last Monday, I resigned from my position as the Youth & Children's worker at The Salvation Army Torquay. I did not do this in anger or hurt, but because I really felt that God was calling me on from there. This is a hard concept for many people to understand, but it was something I felt I had to do.

This is how it came about.

In Febuary, I felt called by God to be a Salvation Army Officer. More than that, I felt that I needed to go in 2009. For those who don't know, there is a long process you need to go through before you can go to Training College, there are assignments, forms, fundraising and about a million other little things that need to be done in your preparation. If I was planning to go to College in later years, I could have done all of these things at Torquay, however, as a church plant, who have limited team members, and a constant flow of events, programs and the likes, to get all this done, and be the person solely responsible for the development of Youth & Children's programs, I just couldn't do it in 10 months.

Also, things have been growing so rapidly over the past few months, new ministries and programs need to be established, but I don't feel it's fair to start new things, when someone else is going to be coming into my job in 6 months. So I started to feel as though, perhaps, now is a good time for someone to come in and take the ministry to the next level. That I've planted the foundations, but it was time to hand over and allow someone else to cultivate and harvest.

About 3 weeks before the Candidates weekend, I was feeling the pressure of trying to get things done, and how it was all going to happen. I spoke to a few of my mentors about it, and we were praying through options.

I went into Candidates Weekend unsure of what to do, or what God was requiring me to do. I still felt unsure right up until the Sunday morning when the Commissioner spoke and told this amazing story about the lessons a man learned from trying out the trapeze. It's kinda a long story but the shortened version is that he learned three lessons:
1. In order to get there (to the other side), you need to leave here (where you are standing).
2. You need to decide let go of your safety and security in order to get there. (changing from one swing to the other)
3. You don't have a lot of time to make the decision.

As he spoke, I just knew, God was saying "Sarah do you really trust me?" and of course you say "yes Lord", but that pesky God of ours asked again, and I had to admit that I don't trust God with every part of my life, only the small things. A friend confirmed that by asking whether I'd listened to what had just been said. Then I spoke to someone who's mentoring me a bit at the moment and she said "Yes I've felt that for a little while", and then finally, a good mate said to me "Sarah I feel as though God's asking me to remind you of Abraham and Isaac".

I knew what that meant. God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac to prove that he trusted God with every aspect of his life (in case you don't know the story - God comes through right at the last hour to stop the sacrifice!). I believe God is asking the same thing of me - sacrifice my comfort and security of a job, in order to show that I believe God when He says He will provide all my needs. It's a lesson I need to learn - that God will indeed take care of me if I hand my entire life over to Him.

So as painful as it was to tell the kids on Sunday, and as hard as it will be to say goodbye to the great friends I've made in Torquay, I need to do this, because it's what God is asking me to do.

God's already provided some interesting job options to explore. I don't know where they will lead right now, but they're there, and I'm trusting God's got the next step in store already!

So that's my story - I'm going to be an Abraham, and make a sacrifice for Him.

But I carry with me the love and good times I've had during my time at Torquay Salvos! I know I'll be a better officer because of it.

What's Your Flavour?

2008-05-28T00:07:00.002+10:00

So I've just done this test for the second time. And no surprise, I've ended up being Emergent/PostModern. What does surprise me, is that even though I've been involved in more Pentecostal/Charismatic experiences, it still doesn't rate very high on my theological experience table.

I think that the Church needs all types of Spirituality. I really believe that. So whilst this Emergent/Postmodern attitude states that "You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well", I don't entirely agree with that. I do feel alienated from many forms of Church, but that's not necessarily just the older forms. Actually, if I had my choice of going to a High Anglican church or a Pentecostal Charismatic church, I would choose the High Anglican church any day of the week, and twice on Sundays. I think in our desire to be "more modern, more trendy", we've actually lost a lot of the sacred traditions which ground us.

I actually think that a lot of the more modern churches have "missed the mark" in relation to what the modern culture needs or wants. Take my tradition for example - The Salvation Army has lost many of the traditions which have made us who we are today. Over the Red Shield weekend, I was given the opportunity to chat with many older people for whom The Salvation Army was incredibly significant. One couple recounted the days when they would follow The Salvation Army's band and timbrels through the streets of Richmond, back to the church, and end with a "pie floater" together in community. They told me they miss hearing the band, and questioned whether the timbrels still exist. I told them that they do, not in a lot of corps, but in a few around the traps. Their comment "That's a shame, it's the most distinctive thing about the Army, it's what we loved about them". But people tell me all the time, "oh but it's not relevant anymore!"... isn't it? Really? Why then is the first question any of my not-yet-christian friends ask me "Wow, the Salvos, do you wear a uniform? Do you play in the band? Do you play the tamborine?" when I tell them that yes I wear uniform, my dad plays in the band and I do play the Timbrel - they don't tease me - THEY LOVE IT! They ask more questions, they want to know more. Still in this day and age, people connect with us on that level. So why do we run from it? Why don't we do Open Air meetings anymore? Because some other tradition told us it was no longer relevant?

I guess what makes me "emergent/postmodern" is that I truly believe that being in relationship with people - from all walks of life - from all faith traditions is not something to shy away from, but something to embrace and use to enrich our own faith experience. It is through our relationships and our dialogue with people that we can truly connect with Christ in the now, in the today, in the moment.

Perhaps the most "Emergent" idea I have - is that if The Salvation Army is to truly walk in it's calling and anointing from God... it needs to go back and look at what we did really well pre-1980's, and try and regain some of that, yes in a modern setting, but to get back and do it!! It's time! I'm over trying to be like the other churches, we're not a church, we're a movement... so let's move!

So what's your flavour? What is your theological perspective? But more importantly - how can you use that to enrich The Salvation Army or your local church?

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern

You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

75%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

71%

Neo orthodox

64%

Modern Liberal

54%

Classical Liberal

43%

Roman Catholic

36%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

32%

Reformed Evangelical

29%

Fundamentalist

25%

When I'm Old & Gray...

2008-05-23T16:31:00.003+10:00

Over the past week, I've really stopped to think about how blessed we are to have older people in our lives. I've always really valued the older generation - my grandparents generation, for what they have to offer us, and for the service they have provided for many many years.

On Monday, I attended two funerals. The first was for a friend's grandfather. His name was Peter, and he was such an amazing God-fearing man. Peter attended our Community Dinners each month, and to be honest, although he was old, you would never have known it for his energy and passion he brought with him. Peter was not only an amazing God-fearing man, he was also a wonderful husband, father and grandfather. In a world where "real men" are hard to find, Peter modeled what a "real man" should be. I am better for knowing him. He will be greatly missed.

The other funeral was for a wonderful woman, Nan, from my parent's Corps - South Barwon. Nan was a faithful servant of God, and though she had lived a hard childhood, later in life, she became a humble servant at The Salvation Army South Barwon. Nan was one of the first people I spoke to at South Barwon, and always greeted me with a smile, and would hold my hands in hers as she spoke to me. She will be so greatly missed not just by me, but also by my mum and the Corps.

This week, I also got some pretty bad news about my grandfather. He's really not well at the moment. I've always been a bit of a Grandpa's girl, and was the only grandchild to ever work for him in his fruitshop. Our times together at the shop were not always fun, but they always started and ended with a kiss and a cuddle from Grandpa. That's the stuff I remember. Grandpa's really not well at the moment, and he probably will not be able to be operated on. It's so sad to see him this way. He's in a lot of pain, and the reality of "old age" has hit him physically - unfortunately for him, he's still young in his mind, so it frustrates him no end. On Wednesday, my sister, niece & I went to spend some time with Grandpa & Grandma, and boy did we have fun. I love hearing Grandpa's old stories. He told one in particular about my great-Grandfather which deserves a blog all of it's own.... so that's a to be continued... Suffice to say, I'm blessed to come from such a rich heritage of Salvationists & Salvation Army Officers, and that heritage has not only shaped who I am today, but also the type of Officer I hope to be.

So - what are we to do with our heritage? Will we continue it or will we change it for future generations? When I'm older, what stories will I tell my grandkids? What will I leave them that they'll tell their kids? I pray, that as I get older, I will draw on the experiences of those who have gone before me. I pray that I grow stronger in my faith, that I grow deeper in my love for God and for people. I'm going to lean on the promise of God that:

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4

How about this week, you take the time to listen to a story from someone of the older generation? Let's start to draw on their experiences, and use them to help us grow.

To My Anon Friend...

2008-05-15T10:10:00.002+10:00

I'd like to take a moment to thank the person, (I assume is the very same "Anon" who posted on my "Faith or Fear" blog), who sent me a package to work today warning me against the Jesus Christians.

I have read the information you both gave me and the website you posted, and I do appreciate your feedback and input. I would have preferred if you actually told me who you were, but I understand that perhaps you've had bad dealings with people in the past so probably don't want me to know who you are. If it is that you are a friend of mine and are concerned with how I would react if I knew it was you sending me this information, please know, I would have taken your guidance with much grace, love and appreciation.

I need to state that at no point am I promoting the Jesus Christians - I do not feel they are a movement people should necessarily get involved in - and they are certainly not a movement I'd care to get involved in. The point of the blog was not that we should all go out and join the Jesus Christians. For one thing, I don't actually like that they are not attached to a church - I believe that the only way to "fix" the Churches problems is from the inside, not the outside. I also do not support their donation of one of their kidneys to people on the waiting list as a way of true membership, or whatever their take on it is. My kidney will stay very much in place, unless one of two things happen - I die, and my organs are donated (my wish) or my mother may need it one day, in which case I will gladly hand it over.

The point of the blog was not at all about heading out and joining the Jesus Christians - or that they are a model I feel we should copy. Instead, I was commenting on two things:
1. How great it is to "break bread" with people from different faith beliefs and different theological backgrounds. That evening, there were many things we disagreed on, but the one thing we definately agreed on was that the world needs Jesus, and the message Jesus gives - a message of love, forgiveness, grace, and truth.
2. That spiritual warfare is happening everywhere, and that we have our choice - choose faith or choose fear. I'm still going to choose faith. I'm still not going to fear being "spiritually attacked" because I choose to sit with people of other faith backgrounds, or other socio economic backgrounds, or with mental illnesses or the likes - because I believe that I hold the light of Jesus in my heart and that the light will extinguish the darkness. I'm choosing faith. Every day.

So thank you for your concern. Thank you for taking the time to research and send me information. I'm assuming you're a Salvo since you sent it to my office and knew my job title, so I will say - I believe The Salvation Army is the only movement I'm going to ever want to be part of - fear not... I'm not going anywhere! :) I just enjoy meeting people from all over...and as far as I'm concerned, everyone is welcome at my house - regardless of their faith background! :)

Mother Mother...

2008-05-12T18:32:00.002+10:00

So yesterday was Mothers Day... a day where you celebrate your Mum. I love that there is a day to celebrate everything that our Mothers do for us. And I'm really lucky, my Mum is a legend. She honestly is. She's one of the most beautiful women I know, and is so much more than my mum, she's my best friend and closest confidante. There's not a thing about me my Mum doesn't know, and she loves me anyway! :)

The only thing I think needs to be adjusted slightly (which is a concept interestingly, that my Mum introduced me to!), is that rather than just celebrating our earthly Mums, why don't we take time to celebrate our Spiritual Mothers. At South Barwon (and interestingly at every other Corps my parents have been in command of!) we celebrate 'Mothering Sunday', and church members are encouraged to not only celebrate their earthly mothers, but to take a moment to thank those women for whom take on an a "spiritual mother" role in our lives. I LOVE THAT CONCEPT.

I have some amazing women in my life, women who have taken the time to truly pour their time, their gifts and their love into my life. I am who I am because of these women. These are the women who will take me for coffee, have a laugh with me, pray for me, and be available for me when I need them. They open their hearts and their homes to me. Two of these women who instantly spring to mind - have never had their own children.

So, why not take a moment to thank the "spiritual" mothers in your life. The women who love you and support you and pray for you and are just "there" when you need them!?

I know I will be.

Something Beautiful

2008-05-09T10:05:00.002+10:00

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to find people who truly speak words of truth into your life. I’ve got amazing friends, but sometimes it’s just really hard to not be the “strong” one or the “together” one, sometimes you just have to be broken, and not everyone can handle that, and nor should everyone.

Last night, I was sitting under the very very heavy burden of shame, and guilt, and condemnation, and pain, and the lies and words of death that had been sewn into my heart over the past few years. The thing is, I knew they were all lies, I knew what was going on, well it wasn’t of God basically. I knew that condemnation isn’t something God wants His children to feel, but I just couldn’t shake it. I didn’t have the strength to fight it on my own. I sent out a text message to some of my friends asking for prayer.

My housemate, my beautiful housemate Venita, who was supposed to be in Melbourne, wasn’t. She was home. And whilst I sat there in my brokenness, she spoke words of truth, and life into my heart. For every doubt I had about myself or what I had to offer this world, she had words of truth and love and grace and peace. Every time I said “I know but…” she would say “no, you’re this….”

Even throughout all the stuff going on for her, she sat there in my stuff right by my side. She sat there and was Jesus to me. She sat there and listened to all my junk, warts and all junk, and still loved me, even throughout all of that. We sat there bare, all our insecurities, all our vulnerabilities right there on the table, and you know what… there was no shame in sharing with her. There was only grace and love pouring out from her.

How I crave that sort of relationship. How I seek after it. How I seek to BE that sort of person to people – the person that, no matter what junk you put on the table, I’m right there speaking words of truth, and love and peace and grace. That’s what I’m praying for now…. Even in my brokenness and pain, that I might be the sort of person who is safe to be with, who speaks truth and love and life into your life.

It reminds me of that old chorus:

“Something beautiful, something good, all my confusion, He understood.
All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife.
But He made something, beautiful of my life”

May that be true for each of us.

Faith or Fear?

2008-05-08T11:25:00.003+10:00

Last night, we got home to find (in true Christian Community style!) that we would be joined for dinner by two guys from the "Jesus Christians" movement, Ross & Israel. What was going to be a rushed evening of a quick dinner followed by small group ended up being such an amazing night of "breaking bread" with fellow believers and a true edification of the spirit.

If you're interested, you should check out who the Jesus Christians are by visiting their website: I don't know a whole lot about who they are or what they do, except that they lead a nomadic life serving God in each community they find themselves in and that Ross (a fellow Melbournian) and Israel (from India)treated us to an evening of Christ-centred discussion, which of course, is what we all need more of! I love that even though we may not agree theologically, we can respect each other enough to stop and learn and share our journey. :)

So anyhow, further to what I wrote yesterday, I was able to speak with these guys about the whole "abuse of authority" pandemic in the church at the moment, and it was good to hear about a genuine community by which each person is accountable to each other. One of the things I didn't write yesterday, which we discussed at length last night - was the "Faith or Fear" mentality in the church, particularly in response to matters of Spiritual Warfare.

From my experience (and please note, I'm trying not to make broad statements here, merely speaking from my experience of church) there has been two different camps within the church - both of which I've been a part of. There is the justice camp - the one where we go out and be lights in the darkness that is trying to oppress people - or there is the heaven/hell fear camp. These are the people who fear the darkness, who blame spiritual warfare on all that is wrong with the world, and as a result hide away from other cultures, religions and "worldliness". Now, if you are in the justice camp - you have no way of denying there is evil in the world, that manifestations take place - you see them on almost a daily basis - the difference between that camp and the other - YOU DON'T FEAR IT! Someone once said to me "if you saw a true manifestation of a demon, you'd understand Sarah"... and you know what, I have... and I do understand... I understand that spiritual warfare is blatantly occurring in today's world. I get that, probably more than you realize. But I also know, that we fight the good fight, and we fight the battle that's already been won. I have FAITH that my God, my Jesus, is bigger than anything that the evil one can throw at me, and as a result I'm not scared of it. I don't fear "demons" or "evil" because I know that when the light comes into the darkness, the darkness flees.

For the life of me, I cannot understand Christians who fear the darkness. Who fear spiritual warfare, or who fear people from other faith traditions/other expressions of life or other cultures. I do not understand that fear that if you hang out with a friend who is into the New Age stuff, demons will attack you - because my God is bigger than that! I can't understand Christians who don't want to enter into conversations with Buddhists or Hindus out of fear that you may be attacked - because my God is bigger than that! If you, as a Christian, TRULY believe that Jesus is the WAY the TRUTH and the LIFE, then why in goodness sake do you fear the darkness?!

So we were chatting about this and someone said "That's because Sarah, the church either preaches faith or fear... I choose faith, others choose fear". And I think that's it, I think I get it now... I choose faith not fear. You see, no matter what "manifestations" happen, no matter how bad the "evil" you are facing is, you have a choice - Faith that the God you serve is bigger than it and that you hold the light, or fear that the darkness will suck you in.

At the moment, I feel like I've had a real kick in the guts, I feel as though my armour is kinked and I'm battle weary - but I hold faith that the very worse that can happen in life is this:
1. Our reputation is left in tatters - in which case, God has a blank slate to start again with.... or
2. We die - in which case we spend the rest of our eternal life with Christ.

So if you are battle-weary like me... if you don't know how much longer you can stand... if you are struggling to stand...kneel with me. Let's be each others armour bearers. Let's take all our broken and kinked armour and share the load and burden together. Because if we have faith that we actually hold the truth, and that the light is within us...the darkness will be extinguished and we may feel like we've lost the battle but we will win the war.

Let's start choosing faith not fear.

Ouch - Sometimes Church Hurts

2008-05-06T16:27:00.003+10:00

I’m growing in my concern at the abuse of power within the Church at the moment. I’m frequently and consistently seeing “leaders” exert control over their congregation, telling them how to worship, what to wear, what God is calling the individual to do and worse in some cases. I’d like to say this is happening in all the other churches, and not The Salvation Army, but sadly, there are corps that are just as bad as every other church. So, having experienced some level of control, and abuse of power, and now seeing it for what it is, I thought I’d share some insight into some warning bells I’ve learned to watch out for…

1. Your church leaders have a very clear vision for what the church is involved in, but you have a nagging feeling that they are more concerned with building their own kingdom, not genuinely turning people toward God’s Kingdom. How can you tell? Well if numbers and “stories” (as in something to use to prove what a good church you are) are more important to them than the pastoral care and spiritual development of their flock…there’s a problem. Naturally a healthy church is one that is constantly growing – but if the growth does not extend beyond conversion, and people start to drift away, chances are, you’re church is not healthy.

2. If you leave church on Sunday and you do not feel uplifted and ready to serve God in your every day life, then there is a problem. Naturally a good sermon challenges and convicts you, but if you feel condemned or burdened when you leave, then your church is failing in it’s calling to edify the spirit of the believers and encourage them to go out and serve God. Remember – Jesus calls us to come to Him when we are weak and burdened and He will give us rest. He says “Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light” (Matt 11:28-30)

3. When your leaders start dictating to you (a) what you should or should not wear on a day to day basis (b) how you should spend your personal time (c) how much finance or time to you should give to the church and finally (d) who you should and should not be friends with or cutting out family members from your life. This is a really tough one because this is often pretty subtle, and it’s not necessarily easy to measure whether the leaders have overstepped their boundaries and spiritual responsibility. Obviously there are times when we need to be challenged on some of this stuff. If we are deliberately dressing provocatively (and by that I mean, that we purposely choose outfits to entice the opposite sex) to worship, that’s a problem. But that does come down to the motive. Also, we should spend time in fellowship with our church friends, but when that is constantly and consistently at the expense of spending time doing other things we enjoy, that’s a problem. Also, naturally we are called to tithe to “God’s storehouses”…that doesn’t necessarily mean YOUR church. I know many people who tithe over 10% to missions and to ministry projects all around the world… but if your church is insisting on over 10% of your money, you need to question why. Also, no person has the right to tell you who you should allow into your life and who you should not. If you are being told to cut people out of your life because they “don’t get the mission”, and if your church feels that they are more important than the family God gave you…we have problems here.

4. When you are told who to marry or who not to marry – or if you are told to leave your husband/wife by your church pastors – not on the grounds of physical/emotional/sexual abuse, but because he/she is not who the church deem fit for you to marry… I think this is self-explanatory.

5. Your church preaches hate/dislike/prejudice from the pulpit. Jesus came to love the unlovable. Jesus showed grace. Any preacher/pastor/leader who tells you that it’s okay to hate anyone from any other faith/race/sex or anything else, is not preaching the grace of Jesus. It’s really quite as simple as that. Love the sinner hate the sin. Jesus says though “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged” (Matthew 7:1-2) Let’s face it, there are some things that are really hard not to get judgemental about. I think I’m almost a woman of grace…I say almost because my grace is given freely to my friends and family who do not know Jesus, but I struggle at times to show grace towards judgemental Christians – which is just as bad as what they are doing. In fact, just last night I was talking to somebody quite dear to me about the Westboro Baptist Church (incidentally did anyone watch that documentary last night…man I just couldn’t believe half the stuff I heard!) and how “my grace just does not extend that far”…thankfully, God’s does. Showing grace does not mean you are okay with the sin. It just means that you believe that the convicting, is God’s job. We are merely called to love God and Love others (hey 2Love – what a great name for a youth department, eh Dave?! haha)

6. Naturally – physical abuse of any sort should not be tolerated… if your pastor or leader has physically harmed you – GET OUT!

7. They preach that your church is “better” than others or that “other churches don’t have what we have” or that “God blesses our church more than others”…dangerous dangerous ground. You begin to believe it, you get caught up in the vision, and at the end of the day – it’s just a lie. The Church is the bride of Christ – nobody should diss Christ’s bride…that includes the church down the road, the other denominations, and even other Corps or churches of the same denomination. We are all called to be different, each denomination/church/corps is called to be unique in it’s outworkings of service to God. No two churches should be the same. But just because my church offers this, and that church offers that doesn’t mean either of us is “better” or “more blessed” than the other one.

8. Finally – if you have started to feel that little gut feeling that things in your church or things with your leaders are “just not right” and you start to look elsewhere for another church…and you get challenged about leaving… or if you are called to go elsewhere for whatever reason (ministry/job/marriage etc), and your church do not want to release you… you’ve got big problems. People stepping into their calling, or people finding a place where they are going to better serve and connect with God, is something to celebrate, not control.

There are probably a million other warning signs, these are just the ones I’ve either experienced or have spoken to friends who have experienced…many of our stories, though from different denominations and churches… have had many common elements in the outworkings of the abuse of authority and control put down upon us. All of us have bought into the lie that we either did something to deserve this, or that we were just not Godly enough, or that we had bought about spiritual warfare upon the place, or worse still – that God will punish us for going against the church. We’ve all left feeling as though it was our fault. The flip side of that is that many of us remain in our churches (not me - I got the heck out of there the second someone helped open my eyes to the reality of my situation!) because we “don’t want to jump ship” or “don’t want to lose our friends or community” or “can’t change something from the outside”. And we continue to fall deeper and deeper into a spiral of lies and are stripped further of our worth.
No finally – I need to say that yes the bible does say to respect those for whom have been given spiritual authority…we are to respect our leaders. But that does not mean that we need to stay somewhere we are going to be damaged and abused.

Within the last 2 years, I have met so many of you out there, who just like me have been abused by your church, your pastors or your elders. It strips you of your worth and that my friends is not biblical. The church is supposed to edify and strengthen you – to equip you for ministry in the world. If your church is not doing that, you need to find a church that will before it’s too late and you lose your faith…and that my friends, breaks God’s heart.

Do you really believe....

2008-05-04T22:56:00.003+10:00

So I've been thinking a lot lately about some stuff...and been sharing it with a couple of trusted friends.

So here's what I've been thinking.

I've been thinking it's time that Christians stopped using lingo such as "got saved" or "get them saved"...I've been thinking that we're already saved. We've been saved since the day that Jesus died on that cross. We're saved people. The world is saved. What we need to start seeing our job as is not "saving people" but turning them to the cross...introducing them to Jesus. Always Jesus. He did the saving. They're already saved. We just need them to acknowledge that. To really understand that Jesus loves them. That God loved them so very much that He knew the only way to save them from a life of death and destruction was to send His only Son to die so that they may live. We can't save them, we are not the Saviour...the real Saviour the one who actually died for them...did that thousands of years ago. He came to earth and died for THE WORLD, not just for Christians, but for the whole world, then, in the past, in the future and of course now. So we need to shift our thinking a bit on what our purpose in life is... I think our purpose is not to "get them saved" but to turn them to Jesus so HE can show them they've been saved so that they may live both eternally and in the here and now!!

I've been thinking that Christians need to stop being so freaking arrogant all the time. You know what I mean, this goes for me as much as it goes for anyone else... We act as though we're better than everyone else, and it's not the truth. You see, my dear friend Ann spoke at the Forge Gathering, about how at the foot of the cross, we're all equal. And for the first time, I realize that yes, that's what I believe. That even though I acknowledge that Jesus is my Lord and Saviour, it doesn't make me any better than the person next to me who doesn't acknowledge that. It also doesn't make us any better than the homeless person, the drug addict, the prostitute or even the muslim. Because at the foot of the cross, we are all equal. Jesus died for all of us. When we start at that point, the point of sheer undeserved grace - it makes the whole task of evangelism very easy... because you stop judging people for what is wrong in their lives, and start from a point of grace - the point at which Jesus always always started from. Our arrogance doesn't help us, it hinders the cause...that is showing what an amazingly gracious and loving God we serve. Plus, you'll also miss out on the chance of learning something about yourself and your own faith... so many times the people I was trying to "help" or "serve" ended up helping and serving me more than I could ever imagine. I'm no better than anybody else... we are all created in the image of our God, and have all fallen short...at the foot of the cross we're all equal.

Finally, I've been thinking that it's really hard to find people who want to see the best in you...who see you for who you are, and who love that person. Just as you are, not how they want you to be. You see, I have a few people like that - they are more precious to me than any jewel I could ever own. They don't even know it - though I hope that they know that I love them and they're important to me. They probably have no idea that every time we speak, my soul and spirit is edified by them. I met a new friend like that last week. He's been such a blessing to me, and he has no idea. I hope that I can too, be that to some of my friends. That I'm the sort of person who looks at your heart and loves you for who you are. I want to strive to love you for who you are and who you can be...not who you try to be and who I want you to be. I'm seeking heart connections not shifting and changing fair-weather friendships.

So that's where my head is at currently - yes it's confusing and all over the place - I can't help it - as the Collingwood crew would playfully tease - I am a Four after all (check out the eneagram, you'll get it then). It's filled with melancholy and hope. It's filled with lack of belief in self but total belief in a Christ who believes in me... and finally.... It's ever broken but always hopeful.

What Would Ghandi Do?

2008-04-23T14:35:00.002+10:00

I've been reading over my notes from the Forge Conference, and in particular thinking a lot about Deb Hirsch's session on The Beatitudes.

One line really struck me, and has been forcing me to look at my own life and actions. She said "Many people argue that the world's most dedicated Christian was a Hindu!" in relation to Ghandi meditating on the life of Jesus, and in particular the Beatitudes.

The world's most dedicated Christian was a Hindu... ouch! But my question is, does that hurt because in actual fact it's true? If a Christian is a Follower of Christ - then Ghandi certianly did that...he followed Christ's teaching to the letter. The only difference between him and a "Christian" is that from my understanding, he did not see Jesus as the Messiah or the Son of God.

Ghandi took the teachings of Jesus, and became one of the world's most talked about peace-makers. He allowed the Beatitudes to really infect his life and made the changes necessary in his own life that literally allowed him to change the world.

So what if Christians did this? What if all of us who claim to be followers of Jesus, actually let ourselves change as a result of the teachings of Jesus. What if we looked at the Beatitudes, and actually allowed it to change the way we lived our lives.

Jesus says in Luke 6:20-22:
Then Jesus turned to His disciples and said "God blesses you who are poor, for the Kingdom of God is yours. God blesses you who are hungry now, for you will be satisfied. God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh. What blessings await you when people hate and exclude you and mock you and curse you as evil because you follow the Son of Man. When that happens, be happy! Yes leap for joy! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, their ancestors treated the ancient prophets that same way."

This entire passage was counter-cultural at the time. You see back in bible times, you were considered blessed by God if you were well fed, wealthy and respected... sound familiar? Deb argued that Jesus knew that "there is something in the freedom & the simplifying of life that is beautiful and blessed".

That's what Ghandi realized. Ghandi realized that he was blessed when he was poor, and hungry and saddened and mocked. Because he wasn't bound by the chains of society, because he wasn't bound by wanting to be rich, powerful, and liked, he was able to start a movement that changed the world.

I wonder - did the Founders of The Salvation Army realize the same simple truth? Did William & Catherine Booth have that inner wisdom that told them that there is freedom to be found in the poor. That we actually "need the poor to show us our own poverty" as Deb put it. Perhaps they understood this. Perhaps they were driven by the stories of love, grace and forgiveness found when you work with the poor. Perhaps whilst working with the poor they, like so many of us, have found Jesus looking back at us when we're clothing and feeding and loving what society deems as "unworthy" or "unlovable" or "cursed".

I'll leave you with one last quote of Deb's to mill over:

"The Beatitudes challenge us to the core of our being - full of challenge, beauty and danger for the way we live our life." - Deb Hirsch

Pastor or CEO?

2008-04-17T10:22:00.002+10:00

This is the question I've been forced to ask myself in the lead up to the Forge Gathering and Salvo Youth Workers Conference. I've been asking myself, because I've been given two books to read: Andy Stanley's "7 Practices of Effective Ministry" and John Maxwell's "21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership". Both of them are supposedly meant to help us become better at what we do - better at ministry - better at strategic planning and the likes. I'd like to say I've finished them both already, but the truth is I'm really struggling to get through them!

My problem is, if I was a CEO, I would gain a lot of knowledge from these books. They have great BUSINESS tools to share with us. But I'm sick to the back teeth of shallow consumer driven, numbers focussed teaching! It's almost like a large chunk of the Christian world is trying to make the Church more like the Business world, instead of making the Business world more like the Church!!!

Dave Collinson blogged (See the Captain Collo blog link), about a session he went to at the Forge Gathering called "The Cult Of Leadership", I highly recommend you checking it out. You see we are trying so hard to become great leaders, that we're neglecting to follow the example of Jesus... and what form of leadership did Jesus impart?

"Jesus knew that the Father had given Him authority over everything and that He ahd come from God and would return to God. So He got up from the table, took of His robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then He began to was the disciples feet, drying them with the towel He had around Him." (John 13:2-5)

"After washing their feet, He put on His robe again and sat down and asked, 'Do you not understand what I was doing? You call me Lord and Teacher, and you are right because that's what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher have washed your feet, you ought to wash other's feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.'" (John 13:12-17)

So to be a disciple of Jesus, we need to care less about our position in the church, less about the consumer-driven attitude of life, and more about serving others, loving others, and doing to others that which Christ has done for us... that's what makes a Pastor. All the other things? They're simply worldly advice to make us better CEO's...and I don't know about you... But I'd rather be a Pastor!

Forging Relationships

2008-04-15T23:40:00.002+10:00

Like what I did there?! Most of you have no idea what the title of this would actually mean - unless we just spent the weekend together - at The Salvation Army Southern Territory's Youth Workers Conference which involved attending the FORGE gathering "Grassroots".

Something struck me over this weekend - the value of forging relationships that strengthen you as a person, a youth worker and as a person in ministry.

I don't think we often think enough about the people that can support us and love us in our ministry positions, and as people. And that struck me massively over the weekend. I promise I'm going to write more about the conference itself in the coming days, I'm just letting the teaching "sit" within my heart and mind and soul at the moment before I comment on what I believe because of it.

But I want to share a unique moment I had with a dear friend and mentor figure in my life. You see, I went to thank her for her teaching that morning, as she was seriously brilliant, and in five minutes, she tore down the things that were holding me back, named them, had me in tears, encouraged me and urged me forward. In five minutes, she was able to do for me that which people have tried for years. She said something along the lines of this:

"Sarah, STOP IT... STOP IT NOW. You constantly let people, generally in positions of perceived power, silence your voice. You have to STOP it! (this was the bit I started to cry in) You have a very strong calling on your life, and a very clear and important message to give. You have a strong conviction, anointing and message of Grace, but you stop yourself from speaking out when you know you should because you think people won't like you. Who cares? STOP IT! Be who you are called to be. Who you are called to be is a powerful woman." She then went on to remind me that next year I'm going to Training College, and people are going to box me in, and try to make me who they want to be, again, people in perceived positions of power, again she said "STOP IT! Give your message, your God appointed message". She told me that many people with similar convictions as mine, are insulted and put down and people try to silence them. They speak anyway. Then she said something that blew my mind, she said "You have no idea how many people pray for you and support you".

She said a bunch of other stuff, that was more pointed, but is not fair to write as it would be too telling of the people involved in the situations, so I'm not going to write it, but what I've been thinking about and trying to work through ever since - is how do you STOP IT? How do you stop letting people in perceived positions of power (whether they be family, friends, workmates, congregation members, teachers, pastors, or whoever) silence you? How do you stop that? I mean, if you fight them, you usually make things worse (well in my particular experience I think it makes it worse) and you certainly create tension. So when you're someone who is a peace-maker, a grace-lover and a justice fighter all at the same time, how do you stop the silencing but still keep the peace.

Which is wehre I guess the "people who pray and support you" come in huh? But how do you find those people?

These are the answers I've come up with so far:
1. You pray that God would give you the strength to speak when you need to and the wisdom to know when to remain silent.
2. Within your spirit you don't give the people who try to silence you permission to speak into your life. You don't change how you relate to them, you don't tell them, but in your heart and mind you say to yourself "I don't give XXXXX permimssion to speak into my life, I don't receive what they're saying"
3. You find people who are wise, loving and full of grace to surround you - if not in location, then certianly in prayer and via facebook/email/phone etc., and you remain in an HONEST relationship with these people - sharing with them your hopes and fears and taking on board their constructive criticism and receiving their prayers.

That's where I've got to so far, hopefully others will have more advice.

What I took from this weekend? That I have some amazing friends, mentors and peer mentors in my life. That The Salvation Army has some of the most phenomenal youth workers, filled with strong conviction and a clear passion and calling to serving God and the youth of this Territory. That these people (men & women) have so much to offer - me, the youth in their Corps (churches), The Salvation Army and most importantly God!

I met some awesome people over the weekend and got to reconnect with some of my oldest and dearest friends. Together, I'm hoping we can figure out the WHERE TO NOW? questions together...

Easter was a happy time!

2008-04-10T11:51:00.002+10:00

So I've been doing some thinking about Easter. Most of you know I went away to the Western Victoria Easter Camp. It was honestly, one of the best Easter Camps I've ever been on - and for all you old Melbourne Central crew - it was reminicent of the earlier days at Easter Camp - you know good friends, great fun, awesome speakers, good worship, yummy food and just all-round the best experience you can have!?! It was just like that.

Captains Danielle Strickland & Steven Court were our guest speakers. They took us through some amazing activities that really opened our eyes to a whole other Easter Journey, particularly on Good Friday. Good Friday is traditionally a time where we focus on the pain and suffering Jesus went through in order to save us of our sins. I've always felt like I'm supposed to feel REALLY bad about what a horrible person I am on Good Friday. The problem is, two years ago, that changed for me. Good Friday was the day I went back to church after 5 months away. It was the day I recommitted my life to God. And it was the time I received a lot of healing for stuff that had really damaged me. So I've always wanted to celebrate Good Friday, not feel bad about it!!

So on Good Friday, we carried a cross up a big hill (literally!!) and up on that hill, Steve & Danielle encouraged us to nail the things we hold onto right there on that cross, and walk down the hill leaving it behind. They talked about the point of the cross not being the death and darkness and pain and suffering but the immense love felt for us by our Creator God and our loving Saviour. The point of the cross was not for us to feel bad, but for us to feel thankful that we are LOVED beyond measure. What a gift!! What a thing to celebrate!!! So we celebrated, we had lots of fun, we went on a farm tour (all 30 of us piled into a huge cage, lots of fun!), we laughed, we ate good food (beef - on Good Friday - controversial!!) and we remembered that we were loved, and that Easter is a celebration. Not only that Jesus brought us into a personal relationship with Him, but also because He conquered death!

Easter is a happy time - we should remember that. We shouldn't feel down about ourselves or focus on the suffering - the suffering was a way to show JUST HOW MUCH YOU ARE LOVED...and that you are UN4SAKEN!

Well - I'm off to the Youth Workers Conference & Forge now! Clearly going to have a lot to write next week!

Blessings to all!

In all honesty, are you a Pharisee?

2008-03-17T13:37:00.002+11:00

So it's leading up to Easter at the moment (obiously), and Easter is a really important time for me - because it's when I rededicated my life to Christ three years ago. Now granted, I wasn't away from Jesus long... He has this habit of not leaving you alone! But I did blame Him for the spiritual abuse I experienced - which is silly because frankly, it wasn't His fault and grieved Him just as much as it grieved me! But I digress...

I've been thinking about Easter, an in particular Lent. Our Self-Denial appeal has fallen at the same time as Lent this year, and so as a church we've been encouraging people to give the money they save from what they give up to The Salvation Army's work in developing countries. Now I'm a big fan of the Self-Denial appeal - or more likely what it was once called - OWSMS (One Week Salary on Missionary Sunday) - as I believe that for the average-church-goer, it's a good opportunity to force them to think about the third world. I love that.

Personally, I don't actually give One Week's Salary on Missionary Sunday - instead, I give money throughout the year to various devleoping country projects. For me, I find this works - and means that I end up giving more than I would at OWSMS... this will probably change as I marry and have children, but while I am single, it means that I "deny" myself throughout the year, and remain focussed outside of my own little bubble.

I guess my biggest gripe at the moment, is people who give the money for Self Denial, and think that's it. That they've done their good deed for the year, and that is that, they are a good Christian. The rest of the year, they can ignore the needs of the poor and broken, because they've given their weeks salary and so the poor and the broken are looked after. Now as I said - I love the Self-Denial appeal, and honestly believe that it does serve a wonderful purpose in forcing people to look at their privaleged lives. My problem actually lies when these people look at their privaleged lives, make their donations, and then get into their nice cars, drive to their nice homes, and buy their $2000 Prada handbag. Now there is nothing wrong with having nice things. That's not what I'm saying. But do we really NEED $2000 handbags? Do we really NEED $100 shoes? Or diamonds? Or the best stereo or ipod or gameboy or the rest? And do we actually believe that when we have all those things, God is impressed with our one weeks salary on missionary Sunday?

Perhaps rather than looking at comparing ourselves to the Disciples - we should start comparing ourselves to the Pharisees? Ouch right? Harsh huh? But is it a little bit fair? I mean, they genuinely thought they were Holy and Religious people, but Jesus came and tried to turn that thinking upside down. Those disciples - they gave up EVERYTHING to follow Jesus - ALL their worldly goods, their homes, their families, their friends, their jobs. But the Pharisees lived a seemingly religious lives - absolutely giving their 10%. Perhaps giving more. But their lives did not reflect a life of servanthood and sacrifice. I admit - there are times in my life that I am a Pharisee, not a disciple. But I want to change that. I don't want to be a Pharisee. I want my heart to break for that which God's heart breaks. And the reality is, God's heart - it breaks for injustice.

Isaiah 58 is one of my favourite passages in the Bible. I love The Message Translation of it (though the New Living and NIV are also good) where it says:

1-3 "Shout! A full-throated shout! Hold nothing back—a trumpet-blast shout!
Tell my people what's wrong with their lives,
face my family Jacob with their sins!
They're busy, busy, busy at worship,
and love studying all about me.
To all appearances they're a nation of right-living people—
law-abiding, God-honoring.
They ask me, 'What's the right thing to do?'
and love having me on their side.
But they also complain,
'Why do we fast and you don't look our way?
Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice?'

3-5"Well, here's why:
"The bottom line on your 'fast days' is profit.
You drive your employees much too hard.
You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight.
You fast, but you swing a mean fist.
The kind of fasting you do
won't get your prayers off the ground.
Do you think this is the kind of fast day I'm after:
a day to show off humility?
To put on a pious long face
and parade around solemnly in black?
Do you call that fasting,
a fast day that I, God, would like?

6-9"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.
What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

I believe that when we, The Salvation Army, get it right again - when we have an Army FILLED TO THE BRIM of Justice fighters, of people who understand the Upside-down Kingdom - then we will see revival, breakthough and churches bursting at the seams. But until we get that right, we'll continue to struggle along - constantly trying the latest fads but not actually seeing all that much eternal growth.

So my question to you - Do you want to be a Disciple or a Pharisee?

A time to fight and a time for peace...

2008-03-14T13:13:00.002+11:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days, after a great meeting with a lady who's offered to mentor me in the lead up to my going to College. I have three different mentors - one for professional purposes, one who I'm yet to meet with but who will be for personal/spiritual mentoring and now one for my journey to Officership.

Anyway, we were talking about people who are constantly looking for a fight. You know the type - they generally know very little about the subject they want to debate, but with that little bit of knowledge they want to fight everyone who disagrees with them. I guess it's true what they say "A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing". I was saying that there is someone I know who constantly takes the opposite view to me, and I'm wondering whether it's deliberate now, because whenever the person looks as though they are losing the debate - they claim spiritual warfare is happening. Man that annoys me, more than I think anything else does. I've been lamenting to my father about this, as he's a wise man, and I always like to double check my facts were straight just in case I was wrong and let the "personal" get in the way of the facts - something I have learned over time is a downfall of mine - and when that happens, I need to take my slice of humble pie and apologise. Anyway, upon checking my facts were actually straight on this issue, I continued to lament to Dad about it, and he said "Sarah, you've got to learn that you can't win with some people. They'll just never admit they are wrong."

I discussed with my mentor what she would do in this sort of situation, and her comment was "Well on issues of theology, views and opinions are always different aren't they? So that's the same in life. But when people claim spiritual attack because they know they are losing an argument, you need to call them on that, that is just not biblical, and you need to constantly go back to the bible and ask them what they think the bible says about this topic - and ask them for actual scriptural references."

This is a skill I'm going to have to learn. You see, one of my great strengths is that I stand up for what I believe in, one of my great weaknesses is that I don't back down when people (particularly Christians) make questionable remarks in arguments. There is a time for fighting and a time for peace, but when do you know for sure when is the right time for what?! I guess it comes down to grace. Always grace.

So over the next few months, I'm going to be praying for grace. Grace to know when to speak up and when to remain silent. Grace to allow people to believe what they want to believe and not force my opinions on them. Grace to keep growing with God, and not be happy with just a little knowledge lest I become like those that annoy me with their knowledge! :) Grace grace grace, always grace.

Please keep me accountable to that!! I give you my friends, the permission to do so! :)

Jesus Loves Gay People

2008-03-12T01:00:00.002+11:00

I want you to watch the video below. It is a tribute made for Lawrence King, a 15 year old boy who was killed by a classmate for being gay. Please watch this video, it only goes for a minute or so.

If you're unsure of what happened to Lawrence King, he was 15 years old, and gave a Valentines Day card to a boy at his school that he liked. This young boy responded to the card, by beating Lawrence to death.

It is NOT okay to hate gay people. It is NOT okay to allow your children to believe that it's okay to treat gay people with anything but love. It is NOT okay for you to infect your children with your dislike of homosexuals or their lifestyles. Why?! Because they don't have the capacity to differentiate dislike for a lifestyle and dislike for a person. They do not have the capacity to differentiate that when you say you hate gay people, or that gay people deserve to go to hell or whatever other things you are telling your children, it doesn't mean that they should take matters into their own hands.

And if you believe that what happened to this kid was okay...or that your hateful words do not in some way contribute to such hate crimes - let me give you a harsh reality. JESUS LOVES GAY PEOPLE. Let me say that again... Jesus LOVES gay people. And if Jesus loves them...we are also called to love them. If we do not, we are sinning. If we infect this world and our young people with our small minded opinions of what is right and wrong, we risk more and more things like this happening.

Christians NEED to stand up against injustice. Jesus grieves the death of Lawrence King. Jesus grieves that a young boy could be filled with such fear over getting a Valentine from someone of the same sex, that they murder the giver. Guess what people?! As Christians, it is our DUTY to bring love into this world, to be Christ's hands and feet in a damaged and broken world.

Whether you believe gay people are right/wrong/saint/sinner does not change the FACT that JESUS LOVES THEM...

I'm sick of seeing celebrities giving messages that CHRISTIANS should be giving. It's time to stand up people. To love unconditionally. To bring grace and peace into a dark and broken world. To see people as they could be, as Jesus sees them, and then love them unconditionally AS THEY ARE - without judgment or condemnation. If you can't do that, you need to sit down and read your New Testament - and all the teachings of JESUS.

My heart and prayers go out to the families involved in this tragedy, and I pray that you will use it as a wake up call to ACT to bring love and peace in YOUR community.

Proud of our Heritage!

2008-03-06T16:14:00.002+11:00

I am currently reading our fearless Territorial Youth Secretary, Captain Dave Collinson, and my friend Nealson Munn's book 'INSANE' - it is essentially a modern day look at the history of The Salvation Army...and it is a brilliant read. I couldn't recommend it more highly!

It is getting me so excited, to look at the rich heritage in which us Salvos come from. I'm not going to go into all the stories, because in reality a lot of us already know them. What I am going to say is this - my resolve to be part of this amazing church and organization for the rest of my life has been strengthened by being reminded of our heritage by this book.

I was talking to a friend of mine last night, and we were chatting about The Salvation Army, and how being part of The Salvation Army is unlike being part of any other church. She grew up in Sunbeams, and has known Salvos throughout her life, but has never actually attended the church. She commented that there is something different about us Salvos, she can't quite put her finger on it though. I tried to explain what I think she was meaning, and without wanting to offend anyone, I'm going to try to explain here also.

Being a Salvo *IS* different to being from any other church. There is something different, a stronger connection perhaps? I don't think you really truly understand it unless you were born into The Salvation Army, or you were converted in the Salvation Army. Maybe you do - but I think there is a difference when The Salvos have been your only spiritual home, or your first spiritual home. Unlike other churches - such as the AOG's, the Baptists, the Anglicans, the Uniting Church, the Catholics, etc., The Salvation Army are truly international. I'm not talking about being in other countries - all those churches are - I'm talking about being truly CONNECTED internationally. In no other church I've been affiliated with (Baptist & Non-denominational Anglican-ish), have I heard them talk about what is happening in Corps overseas, or has anyone cared who the overseas pastor for such and such a church is. Yet in the Army, even today, we read of who has been appointed as Commissioner here, or Chief Secretary there. When you turn up to an Army corps, anywhere in the world, you are home. You are welcomed in. You have something in common. We all share a common mission, common values, common uniforms, common songbooks and common theology. Whilst we express these things in a uniquely community appropriate way, at our core, we are one big happy family.

We have held onto our mission and our calling (mostly, though of course there are some hiccups along the way) for our entire existence, internationally. We remain "One Army Under God". I could not imagine not being intricately linked to people all over the world, or not knowing what is going on in the next church over, let alone the next church after that. Salvos do know what's going on - we share conferences, youth events, camps, and sporting teams. Being a Salvo isn't just about where you attend church, but who you are as a person.

When I left the Army for that period of time (the time I call being a spiritual refugee!) I could not find even remotely that which I felt in the Army. Sure there were successful youth groups and amazing teaching at the churches I could attend - but they were all so... I don't know... Isolated amongst themselves? Individual? I don't know what it was, but the feeling was disconnection with a wider vision.

I love that when I put on my Army uniform (well t-shirt at the moment, uniform to come when I can afford it!! haha!), I cease to be Sarah Eldridge, and stand there as a member of The Salvation Army. I am defined by the Red Shield, the crest, the uniform, and my heritage. I stand there and people know that I am safe. That I am a follower of Jesus. That I will do what I can to serve them as Jesus would. What other church can truly state that for it's individual members?

THIS is why the uniform is important. THIS is why remaining with the structures we have in place, no matter how frustrating they may be, is important. THIS is why the band, and the timbrels, and the sunbeams, and the guards, and the junior soldiers and the senior soldiers is important. Because they connect us with that rich heritage of ours - and it's something we should be proud of not shy away from.

I can't wait to be an Officer within this Army. I can't wait to serve and do my part. I can't wait to stand before the Candidates Board, and tell them about how I want to be a truly international officer, like those of old, who were sent wherever to do whatever the Army needs me to do. I am so excited that God has called me to Officership. I was scared, but I'm not anymore. Because God has called us to be something different, and to do something different, and we need to remember that!

Bring on the future I say, because if the past is anything to go on, we have some amazing stories yet to be written! It's INSANE! :)

PS. You can purchase INSANE from Salvo Supplies, if you want to know where, let me know! It's only $10 and well worth every cent of it!

Joshua or one of the 12 tribes?

2008-02-22T10:36:00.002+11:00

Well this is something I quite honestly never really thought would happen. What a journey I've gone on in the past few weeks. Let me begin by saying, that this is a lesson in obedience. It's a tough lesson to learn let me tell you!

On Sunday 10th of Feb, I went to the Welcome to Cadets meeting in Melbourne (well actually in Waverley which seems as far from the City as Torquay is!). I went because one of my friends, Karyn, was entering Training College in order to become a Salvation Army Officer (minister for those who aren't in with the Salvo jargon). I wanted to show her that I support both her and her ministry, and to be honest, any excuse to go to an old fashioned Salvo meeting is good for me!

As we were coming from the other side of Victoria (not quite but it felt that way!), Joel and I made it right as it started - so were directed to the back seats. The sound was atrocious, we couldn't see the screen, and could only hear people when they spoke from one specific microphone. Not my idea of a good opportunity to hear from God! Interestingly enough, we were able to hear the sermon, and as Lt. Colonel Ray Finger (our Chief Secretary) preached, I started to feel that gentle tugging on my heart that this sermon might actually be for me. He was talking about the great need for Officers in The Salvation Army, for people who were called to Officership to be obedient. He talked about how you know you're called, that it's when there is an altar call, and you feel you should go, but don't. That when there is a sermon about officership, you feel nervous, and awkward. That you have never truly been able to find contentment and happiness in any of your jobs. All signs that God is calling you onto something else. I had all of those things right at that moment. It was as though my life was flashing before my eyes, that I realized I've never been happy in any job, and always felt I could do more.

So then the altar call happens "If you are already a candidate for officership, come down. If you know that you are called to be an officer, come down. If God spoke to you in this sermon, come down"... and I knew I should go. Mum turned around and said "If you want to go down there, I'll come with you". No way. Joel looked at me and smiled being a good Divisional Candidates Secretary, I just looked back and said "NO". Then it happened.... Major Marney Turner - the most wonderfully prophetic and spiritual woman I know - comes marching down the aisle - she didn't see me at first, but both she and mum knew she was coming for me - and bang, there she was at my side - literally PHYSICALLY pulling me to come forward. I pulled away and said "Marney I'M NOT CALLED FOR OFFICERSHIP"... so she just prayed for me, right there on the spot.

As I left that service, I knew I was disobedient. That God had called, and despite my promise for the last few years "If God calls me, I'll sign up", I hadn't. I felt ill. Constant butterflies in my stomach. I went home, and took up my devotions book. Great. Numbers 13-14. God tells Moses to send the leaders of 12 Tribes of Israel to Cannan, the promised land. It was LITERALLY the land of milk and honey, the promised land they had been searching for. They all knew it. When they got back to the Israelites, Moses asked them what they found. They told everyone that it was the perfect land. The people were excited ready to go and take the promised land. But 10 of the 12 tribes leaders started to get frightened and told the people there was no way they could beat the big strong people that inhabited the land. The people got scared and decided to rebel against God's promise to them. Joshua & Caleb stood before the people and said:

“The land we traveled through and explored is a wonderful land! And if the Lord is pleased with us, he will bring us safely into that land and give it to us. It is a rich land flowing with milk and honey. Do not rebel against the Lord, and don’t be afraid of the people of the land. They are only helpless prey to us! They have no protection, but the Lord is with us! Don’t be afraid of them!” (Numbers 14:7-9)

The people didn't listen to their pleas, and as a result, wandered through the wilderness for 40 years. Most never saw the Promised Land.

Bang, there it was. I wept openly as I read my devotions. The question my book asked was "At this point in your life, are you like Joshua & Caleb, believing God is with you and leading you to the promised land or are you one of the other 10 tribes of Israel?" I had to honestly say that I had been one of the 10 tribes, not a Joshua or Caleb.

So on Wednesday 13th of Feb, I met with Marney, and signed my College papers. As it happens, I'd prefer to be a Joshua or Caleb, not one of the 10 tribes. I want to walk in the promised land. I don't want to wander through the wilderness for 40 years. I want to not just think God is with me, but to walk within that.

So my question to you is... Are you a Joshua & Caleb, or are you one of the 10 tribes? Are you marching on into your promised land - the place in which God has called you - or are you choosing to stay one of the 10, too gripped by your own fear to march on through?

Because let me tell you, the freedom and release you get when you make a pledge to follow God's way, not yours... man, it's awesome! :)

Saying Goodbye to a True-Blue Aussie

2008-01-29T15:52:00.000+11:00

So I've wanted to write this blog for a week now, however, I've been in New Zealand for the Make Change Conference.

As a result, I was away from the internet, and all other forms of media for the news that a true-blue Aussie, and brilliant actor, Heath Ledger had died.

I'm not going to wax poetic about the amazing man and actor that he was. He was only a couple of weeks older than me, and so I was actually the perfect age to watch his career develop. I remember rushing home from school to watch his first Television show "Sweat", and the questions I had when his character on that show was found to be gay. I remember going to see 10 Things I Hate About You at the movies, and laughing with my friends at how far that guy had come since Sweat! Heck, I even watched the TV Show "Roar" (though that had more to do with the Rent cast members that were in it than it was for Heath). Heath was a brilliant actor, there's no doubt about that. The thing I loved most about him though was his "I don't give a hoot" attitude about Hollywood. He was just an Aussie lad who happened to make it big in America. He was a first and foremost a loving father. In fact one of my favourite pictures I've ever seen of him is this one:

purely showing a dad who loves his little girl. Not a movie star who's actively seeking out media attention. But that's not what I want to write about.

As the news travelled by wildfire around the conference, there were many different reactions from "Who's that?" to "Who Cares?" To "How dare he". My initial reaction was one of shock and pure compassion for his daughter Matilda. At 2 years old, she will never get to know who her father is. All she'll have to go on will be what her family and friends remember about him and the movies that he's left behind. I think what bothers me most about this is that one day, she may decide she wants to read more about him, and will google his name - not to find stories about the brilliant actor he was, or the way in which he touched the lives of many around him - but she will find rumours and innuendo about how he died, why he died and so forth.

The fact is, right now we don't know how he died. We can guess it was an overdose, but there is no proof of that at this point, aside from the prescription pills found in his apartment. But the lack of evidence so far has lead to rumours and lies constantly being fed through the media and on the internet. Everyone is looking for that breaking story - following his friends and loved ones around. Trying to get the money shots of Matilda and her mother. It has become a circus. They're not allowing these people to mourn in peace, but are chasing them down. This does not honour the memory of a man who loved his daughter more than anything.

I was talking to some girls at the conference about it, when we had just heard he had overdosed. One of them turned to me and said 'You know what I think is the saddest thing, he has everything that the world says we need, but he still felt empty enough to fill his life with drugs. If he only filled his life with Jesus, he'd still be here today"... I got shivers. At the time I remembered what William Booth said in his famous "I'll Fight" speech:

"While there remains yet one dark soul without the light of God, I'll fight, I'll fight to the very end"

I was challenged so much - how am I fighting for the light of God to be seen in the dark souls in my life? Heath was no more special or no less special than anyone else on this earth - every day there are people dying who do not know that they are loved and treasured by their Creator, and who takes pleasure in them.

But you know the saddest thing, is how some Christians have reacted to the death of Heath. For example the Westboro Baptist Church released this statement:

Two things on this:
1. Heath was not gay. He was an actor. He was a man who played the role of a man who loved another human being. Brokeback Mountain is a beautiful movie. Heath was brilliant in it. Christians have no right to judge Heath on his choice of movies, or confuse life with art.
2. God does not "hate fags". God loves them. He created them. What God hates is when we, those who say we love Him, judge and mock His creation. I know that I am called in my life to love those that the church often neglects to love. I have many many gay friends. I probably have almost as many gay friends as I have straight friends. I believe that what Jesus wants us as Christians to do is love people as He loves them. It is not our place to judge people. Who are we to be so special? So to the people at Westboro I say this - read your New Testament, and how Jesus loved people. Stop using one or two verses out of context to judge and mock one of God's beloved children. It is not making God proud of you with your convictions, it's making God angry. You are not helping Christianity, you are hindering it. So just stop.

And to you, my friends, I set you a challenge:
1. Pray for Matilda Ledger & Heath's family
2. Think very carefully before you buy into the lies and innuendo
3. Pray that God help you show the light of God to a dark soul or two this week.

So in closing I say this - I pray that Heath Ledger rests in peace. I pray that his family are left to mourn in peace. And I pray that Matilda will grow up to know not the trash that's on the internet, but that her daddy was a brilliant actor and that he loved her much.

The Cross marks the spot!

2008-01-14T10:41:00.000+11:00

What an awesome weekend I've had. We've raised money to get two of our young guys to NZ, I've spent time with some of my most precious friends here in Geelong, and Torquay Live was AMAZING last night!

I try not to bore people with the details of my life on this blog (isn't that what Facebook is for?!?!) so I'm going to skip right on to church - Torquay Live and why it was so amazing.

As I've written over the past few weeks, we're doing a kind of "unplugged" approach to Live over the month of January - mostly because so many of our church family are away at the moment. So our band has gone acoustic, we're sitting around tables, and we're watching a DVD and then sitting around and discussing it.

Last night, we watched Loui Giglio's "How Great Is Our God" - the follow up to "Indescribable". Now I thought Indescribable blew my mind, but it had NOTHING on How Great is our God! I can't recommend sitting down and watching these DVD's enough. I will give you a warning though - they're hard to get into. He's very scientific in the lead up to the blow-your-mind point...but bare with him, because it's worth it.

The thing that has blown me away through this though is two single photos.

The first is this:

What is it you ask?! It's a photo taken by the Hubble Telescope - it's the centre of the black hole in the core of the Whirlpool Galaxy - over 31 million light years away. It's one of the largest and most distant Galaxies we can find. At it's core is a black hole, and at the core of that black hole Hubble took a photo of what NASA named "X". I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure I'd call that a cross, not an X!

The second is this:

Now I probably only know of one or two people who would know what this was at a look - Liz at my church and Matt in the UK - my two scientist friends. For those of you like me, who are looking at it and saying "Okay, so I get that it's shaped like a cross, so I get the point of including it but what is it?!" It's Laminin. The most basic description of Laminin (which I needed!!!) is that it is the glue that holds our body together. It's the molecule that holds together our skin, our organs, our muscles - and without it, we would literally fall apart. Our body is made up of millions of these Laminin molecules - which means that essentially, our body is LITERALLY hold together by the cross.

Phill left us with a thought - "One of the biggest things in the universe we've been able to find and photograph points us to the cross. And...one of the smallest things we've been able to find and photograph points us to the cross." Wow!

I am at a loss as to how you can see such beautiful pictures, and not believe that you were created by a loving God. Last night, the Psalm (139:14) that says "For I know that I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made" took on a whole new meaning.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made - and at the very core of the universe and at the very core of you - Jesus placed a cross to remind you how very loved you are!

The bigger things in life

2008-01-11T18:30:00.000+11:00

So over the past few weeks, I've had time to start to look at the bigger issues in life - not the little petty things we worry about but the things that affect who we are and who we are becoming.

One of those for me, is who I allow to speak into my life. As someone who takes what people say to heart, I need to be careful at who I allow to speak into my life. The problem with this is that I'm not very wise at it. I often carry comments people say to me deep within me for many years, when they could have (a) been a throw away line or (b) not even been about me - but directed at me because of where the person giving the comment was at spiritually or emotionally. This is something I continue to work on, but it's something that's kind of been coming to a head for me for a little while now. You see, I have a few people in my life who I really disagree with - theologically and emotionally they are my polar opposite. I love these people, and they are dear friends of mine. But I should not be allowing them to speak into my life. Meaning, I shouldn't be taking what they say on board. They are good Christian people, and I'm sure that what they are saying they think is the right thing - but the Jesus they profess to know, and the idea of church they believe in is just not my experience of Jesus and chruch. And yet sometimes after having a conversation (or debate - because we all know that I can hold my own when it comes to hearing things I disagree with!) I leave feeling condemned and inadequate. I'm sure that was not at all their intention - as I said these are dear friends of mine who have known me for a long time - but I carry their throw away comments and the condemnation and inadequacy for a long time afterwards. Perhaps they feel the same way - who knows?! But what I'm saying, is that I need to learn to be more careful at who's advice and guidance I am really willing to listen to.

The reason I've been thinking about this lately is that I've been trying to find a mentor figure I can see on a regular basis. I've always been surrounded by some of the most amazing people and brilliant pastors/officers/social workers/theologians/youth workers - right from an early age, I can remember discussions of theology, and youth work practice taking place around me. This is because of who my parents are, and the kind of ministry they have had - which in turn has meant that their friends have been great youth work practitioners, Officers, Pastors and social workers. As I got older and moved into the field myself, I was still always surrounded by these people, who took an active interest in my career - if for no other reason than they'd know me my whole life, and they wanted to "check in on me". Even as I gained more experience, for some reason I've always been able to surround myself with older and wiser mentor figures who I would see often due to the various meetings I'd have to attend, and who I would grab a coffee or a meal with afterwards to work through some of the deeper questions I had. These were people who saw me on a regular basis, took an active interest in me, and wanted to impart their passion, their wisdom and their experience onto the next generation. I've never "formalized" that mentoring relationship because I never had to. I knew I would see them either once a month, or every week in some cases.

Since moving to the Surf Coast now, I haven't had that. I'm not around the experienced practitioners, and they're not seeing or hearing about the work I'm doing. This has made my time with my Dad so much richer - because a lot of the things I'd normally wait and ask one of his friends rather than allowing him to impart his knowledge and wisdom - I'm needing to rely on him for. And as his daughter, I know he'll share more with me about things than he would someone he is mentoring - I also know he expects more of me than someone he is mentoring... a pressure I don't have with others. So there is a need for me to find a mentor. But when you are someone like me - who takes what people say to heart and not at face value - there is a need to find a pretty special person to do that, and how do you go about doing that?

For instance the ideal mentor for me is:
* Someone with a richer experience than me in Youth/Social/Welfare/Ministry Work (that's a given - and it could be in one or all of the above)
* Someone with a wider view of theology and spirituality than me (also a given)
* Someone who's not afraid to speak their mind
* Someone who values me when I speak mine - even if it differs from their opinion
* Someone who's willing to challenge me on areas I need to look at - but who does so in a loving way - not out of spite or negativity, but out of a genuine desire to see me become a better person.
* Someone who understands that as a mentor their responsibility is not to tell me what they think - but to share with me their journey - and get me to widen my thoughts and opinions
* Finally - someone who believes in me more than I believe in myself, who wants to see me develop into the best youth worker and person I can be, and who delights in my successes and helps me work through my failures without judgement or a sense of competition.

On top of that, they need to be someone I'm going to see, or who has time to invest regularly, not just once every now and then. But I'm finding that is exceedingly difficult to find someone as people are so busy nowadays!

At the end of the day, I think we all need that don't we? We all need someone we can go to, to bounce ideas off, to sit at their feet and grow and develop as people. And then in turn hopefully we can become the sort of people those younger than us can seek out to mentor. Perhaps you have already found someone, and that's great! Perhaps you're already mentoring, and that's really awesome!

So if any of you have any suggestions of who I might be able to approach, please let me know. If you don't, would you join me in praying that I can find that person? And I will pray that you too will find someone!

A few hopes for 2008

2008-01-02T14:40:00.000+11:00

Well it's the New Year... so HAPPY NEW YEAR! What a great time to reflect on the year that was, and hope for the year that will be.

I've personally started the New Year off exactly how I wish to spend it - surrounded by friends, who love me and whom I love. We had a New Years Eve party at South Barwon Salvos (Mum & Dad's corps) which was filled with great conversation, a fun game of indoor cricket, way too much yummy food, and some...um... interesting performances in our Karaoke time. Midnight came and there were hugs and kisses and more conversations. I went home and sent my annual New Years email out, and headed to bed.

New Years Day was productive, and ended in me having dinner with my dear friends Sarah, James, Amelie & Wato. As I headed home last night I stopped for a moment and looked at how much my life has changed over the last 6 months. For example, my friendship with Sarah & James (and their delightful daughter Amelie)... I met them on January 21st 2007. Over the first six months of 2007 we would occasionally chat but it probably wasn't until my birthday that I really got to know Sarah. Now, just six months on, I couldn't imagine my life without her in it! It's nice to be around friends you don't have to try too hard with isn't it? I mean we always seem to have something to talk about, something to laugh about - and some of the best times I've had with them, have been in front of the telly or a coffee, or playing with their gorgeous daughter Amelie (who is my best friend, just ask her!!) It's a similar story for most of my friends I see on a regular basis now - they weren't even in my life this time last year, but now they are so important to me, I couldn't imagine not having them around.

So what are my hopes for 2008? I've made two resolutions.

1. To make more of an effort to strengthen my friendships. That means those that are just new, and those that I've had for many years but have lost contact with in the hustle and bustle of life. I needed to take 6 months to fully immerse myself into the culture of my new church and job, but now I've done that, I need to make more time for friends outside of Torquay too. So I'll be doing that more this year.

and

2. I need to see more Theatre, Musicals, Orchestras & live bands this year. Going to musical theatre (sorry to be a snob but pretty much only professional theatre!) is what I love to do to unwind, and I barely saw any shows last year. So this year, I'm going to make the effort to head down and see more musicals - starting with Guys & Dolls which my friend Troy is in, and then also Wicked when it opens (which I hope will have friends in too!). I also want to get down to Melbourne to see the MSO again. I'm going to check out when their free concerts are on, and go down with friends like I did last year. It's always a beautiful night. I'm also going to actually pay to see them once this year (I've yet to pay to see them!), perhaps when they've got some of their younger performers with them.

What about you?! What are your hopes and dreams for this year? I just know that 2008 is going to be a wonderful year. I can already feel it! :)

Love with an agenda?

2007-12-31T10:01:00.000+11:00

We had a great church service last night. It's the holiday period which basically means that half of Torquay have moved out to ensure that there is enough room for all the tourists to come in! haha! I think it bothers you more if you own a car, but as I don't, it doesn't bother me - bring on the tourists I say! But essentially it also meant that a lot of people were away from church (three of our families are in Queensland - at the same time!!) So, rather than have "normal" church (whatever that means, as we always try to shake things up a bit and have church look different every week), we've gone to a "Live, Unplugged" version...sitting around tables, and chatting over a NOOMA Dvd.

Last night, we just happened to put on one of my favourite NOOMA's - 09. BullHorn. For those of you who don't know, NOOMA is put together by Rob Bell, author of "Velvet Elvis" & "Sex.God". He's a modern day theologin, emerging church leader and all-round legendary guy if you ask me. His NOOMA dvd's are between 15-25minutes long, and tackle big biblical and Christian issues in a modern and down-to-earth, in-your-face kinda way.

The reason I love BullHorn so much, is that it tackles the issue of Evangelism. Now let me say at the outset, Evangelism is NOT my spiritual gift, so you need to understand my viewpoint is not that of an evangelist, but more as a disciple and friend of people. But to be honest, I struggle with modern-day evangelism which sees us trying to "save" all our "friends" and put another notch in our spiritual belt. You know the sort "Well I've saved 20 people from the fires of hell and damnation, how bout you?"... it grates on my nerves more than anything else, I can't tell you! BullHorn is aimed at that guy - you know the one - who stands there with a megaphone yelling at people on the street corners that they are going to hell if they don't follow Jesus - it's all damnation and fire and brimstone, and in my personal opinion - moves people a step further from God not towards Him.

About a year ago, I was sitting with a young girl in the city, she was 16, and had been on the streets for the past year or two on and off (when the Department didn't have her placed in a foster home which she would leave after a day or two), and had been abused - both physically and sexually for many years. She was a heroin user - more to numb the pain than anything else I suppose. We were having one of those really deep and wonderful conversations, where we were sharing with each other our hopes and dreams for the future - as unprofessional as that may seem to the "professional social workers" out there - I was really connecting with her as a friend, and over the previous months had really started to love spending our time together and sharing with her. On this particular day, one of those Bullhorn guys - with the megaphone and the hell and damnation - was screaming down his megaphone that fornicators and drug addicts were going to hell unless they gave their lives to Jesus right there and then. I could tell my friend was getting really uncomfortable, really angry - and I knew once she was angry our great conversation would end. And suddenly she turned to me and said "You know what Sarah, what he doesn't understand is that I am in hell".... and with that she grabbed her cigarettes and coffee, told me she'd see me next week and started walking. My heart sank, because I knew she was right. She was in hell. Her whole life was hell. She didn't need to hear she was a sinner and that God was judging her, she needed to hear that her Creator loved her, and longed to be in relationship with her. That Jesus heart broke for the way she'd been treated and that He longed to love her, to hold her in His arms, and to bring healing and restoration to her life.

But beyond being for that guy - the message was for those Christians who see that saving a person is more important than anything else. The person who goes out there and deliberately makes friends with Non-Christians, for the sole purpose of saving their soul, and putting yet another notch in that belt of theirs.

The greatest line in the DVD (I think) is when Rob Bell tackles this by challenging those of us who go out to "love" our non-christian friends, in order to save them and says:

"Because loving people with an agenda isn't really loving them is it?"

Bingo! You can't genuinely love people when you have an agenda. You either love them or you don't. There is no agenda's in love. It should be unconditional. I'm not going to go out there and deliberately make friends with people who don't know Jesus and who I probably wouldn't be friends with if I didn't force myself to love them because I'm scared they're going to hell. Because that's not true friendship. I would say at least half - if not more - of my friends do not know Jesus yet. In fact, the only Jesus they know is the Jesus they see in me. But I'm not loving them because I'm wanting to see them saved...I love them because they enrich my life, because they are unique and brilliant and precious. I think sometimes we get it the wrong way round - we love people to get them to know Jesus, instead of wanting them to know Jesus because we love them!

And you know what - I may not be an evangelist, but you'd be surprised how many of your friends who don't yet know Jesus will ask you spiritual questions if you love them without an agenda. Some of my gay friends have asked why I hang out with them even though I'm a Christian, and I'm able to say to them it's because I love them, and they are important to me. When they ask what my church would think about it I'm able to say that even if my church had a problem with it (which it doesn't), I wouldn't care, because if Jesus came back, he'd be hanging out with us, not sitting in church somewhere.

And other friends of mine, who have had bad experiences with church will meet my friends and comment on how non-churchy we are, that we are normal just like them. And I'm able to tell them - the churchy type of people annoy me too! I want to be with people who's faith is real, who have real issues, and real problems, and for whom Jesus is a part of their every day life! And it's surprising how much that actually reaches people.

So BullHorn guy - or evangelist expert - or Christian who's looking to get more notches on their belt - cut it out. Just love people for who they are. Don't see them as Christ-followers or non-Christ followers... see them as friends, who you love, regardless of whether they make a life-long decision to follow Jesus. Because they don't need YOU to save them, they've already got a Saviour, and He did a pretty good job - they need YOU to LOVE them. Jesus will do the rest!

CHRISTmas

2007-12-29T21:19:00.000+11:00

I have to say I love Christmas - I love the lights, the trees, the gift giving, the cards, the songs, the way everyone is nice to each other and most of all I love the Christmas story.

This year I got some great gifts - Two pairs of Havaiana's (one with bling - thanks Phill & K), Greys Anatomy & Entourage DVD's, jewellry, make up, manicure stuff, awesome bowls for my kitchen, the works. But my two favourite gifts came from friends who chose to make someone elses life better on my behalf. The kids from LiveWires (and my good friend Ann) the kids drop in centre I worked at last year and for the first six months of this year, educated a child for me through TEAR, and my friend from church Wato bought me a chicken through JustSalvos. We have so much "Stuff" in our lives, don't we? This year, I know that two of my friends have ensured that my gift has changed the lives of children and villages.

Isn't that what the Christmas story is about? That God, who created us, loved us so much that He sent His Son to the world to bring love and peace and goodwill. But somewhere along the lines, we've missed the point. We've made Christmas about us, about what we can get and what gifts we can give. And there is nothing wrong with giving gifts - in fact, coming a close second to Physical Touch, Gifts are my love language. I love to give my friends presents, even more than getting gifts. In fact, I loved that at my parents church (South Barwon Salvos) there was so much love among the church family as they gave each other gifts and shared the spirit of Christmas... And because I love gifts, I began to wonder, what gift could I give Jesus - I mean it was His birthday after all.

One of my favourite Christmas Carols (aside from Oh Holy Night, which will make me cry every time), is "In the Bleak Midwinter", in particular the verse:

What can I give him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him —
Give my heart.

So this year, I want to give Christ the gift of all of me - not just at work, not just in my prayer time, but all year round... My whole heart, not just the lonely parts, the lot.

What can you give Him?

A life less ordinary, or is ordinary enough?!

2007-12-13T10:17:00.000+11:00

Last night we completed our five weeks of the Journey's course. Journey's is a kind of "Introduction to Christianity" type course - encouraging people to ask the question "Is there a spiritual side to me?" and "What would that look like if there was?".

Our entire small group are Christians - many of them have been for quite some time in fact. Our small group leader (also our Corps Officer!) decided that it would be good for some of us who (like me) have never done it before, as we use it quite a lot with people who want to know more about God and Jesus - and in many cases, it has lead to these people making a decision not only to follow God, but to become members of our church.

But I digress. As I mentioned, we are already Christians in our small group, so as we completed our course last night, and the final question on the DVD is "Are you willing to giv this Christianity thing a try?!" - well we've already done that, so the question for our group inevitably moved to our own conversions. One of my friends from church and I are both Pastors Kids (well I'm an Officers Kid). We don't really remember our conversion being that big of a deal - except of course for our parents - but more just a natural progression in our journey. We both talked about how growing up we heard these amazing conversion stories, of people who were prostitutes and had a blinding light experience where they became Christians and their lives instantly changed. I mentioned when I heard those stories growing up, I was always jealous that for me, I didn't have a special story - I just was asked in Sunbeams one night if I'd ever asked Jesus into my heart, and I said not out loud, so I did. But there was no dramatic change, because for me - Jesus had always been a very important part of my life.

That was when Liz posed the question - "Do you think we need to hear more ordinary stories?". What an a-ha moment for me! Yes we do need to hear more ordinary stories! You see for kids like Liz and I - we were never able to connect with those dramatic conversions - we were in awe of them - but they didn't speak to us. And if there are a large chunk of kids out there who are the same - who's lives aren't bad, who's lives aren't full of neglect and abuse and pain - then where are the stories that resound with them - the stories of "ordinary" people leading "normal" lives who recognized that there was a spiritual side to them that could only be filled by Jesus.

And why are we, who had "ordinary" lives and conversions, not as willing to jump up and shout and tell that story to people? We have been fed the lie that our conversion, that our spirituality, that our story - is not as valid because it wasn't as miraculous - but the thing is - it is valid and it is miraculous!

If you make a decision at 8 years old to follow Jesus, and you're still following Jesus at 9 years old - that's a miracle. If you make that decision at 8 years old and you're still following at 28 years old - that's a miracle! If you made that decision at 8 years old and you are still a Christian at 58 years old, that's a miracle! You are a living saint. Because you still have a choice. Every single day, you have a choice. You can choose to allow Jesus to be part of your life, or you can choose to go through life on your own. Your life is not ordinary. My life is not ordinary!

And you know the first people that would celebrate that fact with you - those with miraculous conversions! I've known many addicts and prostitutes and abused people who have come to know Jesus - and they realized how much of a difference He has made in their lives. And many of them - if not all of them - would say they wish they'd met Jesus at 8 years old and walked their whole life with Him!

So you living saints out there - celebrate your ordinary conversion! Tell people about it! Celebrate your ordinary lives - because in God's eyes - your life is so much more than ordinary!!!!

Girls - won't you help us?!

2007-12-04T16:40:00.000+11:00

Please excuse me while I rant for one moment.

I want to rant directly at the girls out there, who are not helping us out one bit. The girls who think that if they sexualise themselves and us, they are powerful. Sex might equal power in your eyes, but I'm sorry - it's not lasting. It's just not. And if you want to be taken seriously, for your voice to be heard, for your opinion to be valued - STOP USING YOUR SEXUALITY!

Agh! It honestly makes me sick.

I've been fighting quite a bad cold lately. It's been annoying more than anything, and over the past three nights it has given me incredibly broken sleep - you know the type, awake for half an hour, sleep for an hour, awake again for an hour... so annoying.

So last night, I decided to sleep on the couch, that way when I awoke, I could watch a bit of telly and doze back off. At about midnight, I arose and put the telly on after taking my panadol, and Video Hits was on. It was a special on Guy Sebastian, so I thought "why not" as we all know I'm a bit of a fan of his. It's nice to see a good Christian guy making it in the mainstream. So I settled down with my cup of tea and proceeded to watch this - what would Pink call her - "Stupid girl" Fuzzy flirting up a storm - giggling and throwing herself at Guy. Seriously, she was batting her eye-lashes, throwing her chest in front of him and just generally flirting up a storm - and it made me feel even more ill! I especially "liked" how when Guy was talking about how he wrote "Oh Oh" to talk about the women who use their female mojo (oh oh) to get guys in trouble, and she leans into him and giggles - HONEY HE'S TALKING ABOUT GIRLS LIKE YOU!!!

Over the past few years, I've been able to go around and talk to girls about femaleness and identity - and mostly, we get to talking about sexuality. I (and a few of my peers) have a theory that the 60's and 70's were all about womens lib - equal rights for men AND women - burning of the bra and all that. Women desperate to be acknowledged and VALUED for who they are. The 80's saw women de-sexualise themselves, taking on a more masculine form in the board-room - being a woman was seen as being weak, so we saw a corporate woman rise up and take her place - among the boys. But the late 90's and recently, it's almost as if we've done a complete backflip thanks to the Paris & Nicole's (and Fuzzy's) in the world who have realized that we can "control" men through our sexuality - so it's okay to be a complete ditz because sex is Power.

No it's not girls. Sex is not power. Sex is a gift. We were created to be sexual yes - it's a gift from God to us - for us to enjoy. But the flip side of that is that it can be used to manipulate and distort our views of why we were created. And don't just think this is a secular thing. I have seen MANY MANY girls in all sorts of different denominations - The Salvation Army included - who are using their sexuality to gain some sort of power over men - AND over other women.

God thinks you are beautiful and created you to be a woman. You don't have to dumb yourself down and sex yourself up in order to be beautiful - you were created that way. And any guy who doesn't see that in you - is not worth his weight in salt! So girls, let's take back our sexuality. Let's use it for good. Let's take the womans heart and soul - the sensitivity God gave us, and use it to change the world - instead of adding to the sexed up emptiness that the world is currently offering!

Girl's - won't you help us?!?!

"You are beautiful with God's Beauty. Beautiful INSIDE and OUT. God be with you!" Luke 1:28 (the message)

How Connected Are You?

2007-11-30T13:31:00.000+11:00

Well what a week I had last week. I was at The Salvation Army Southern Territory's "Connections 07" conference, which was an awesome awesome weekend.

On Thursday, I had the privilege of working in the Creche at Officers Councils. It was a privilege, because as an Officers Kid myself (or OK as we like to be called!) I've been to many Officers Councils, and been "baby-sat" by countless strangers. So as an older OK, it was great to be able to give back. I love being an OK, I really do. Yes, there are some really hard times, and as I looked at those 19 children aged 2-5 I knew there was going to be some really tough moves they'd be taken on, but as a whole, what better thing could happen in your life than to be part of your parents ministry? I know that I have met people, and had experiences that God has given me through my parents' ministry that I would not have had if they hadn't answered God's call to be Officers.

Friday was probably my highlight though. I spent time going from session to session with my family - hearing some of the greatest speakers and practitioners in Social Work speaking to some of the most important issues facing our nation. I was uplifted, challenged and blessed by their knowledge and insight. Particularly I got a lot out of Paul Moulds & my dad's session on Distinctive Salvation Army Social Work. I was challenged by them both, that we not only have to be extremely professional in what we do - but that sometimes we have to go against "professional social work" and bring the heart back into what we do. We as social workers have a choice to go after the most difficult "clients" or people, and fight for them - to be their voice when all the "professionals" have given up on them. We must have hope when they have none, and we must believe that their circumstances can change. We must not ban people, and exclude people from our services - for when we do, we go directly against that which makes us distinctive as a church, a movement and an organisation. AMEN!!! If you ever get a chance - go and check out Street Level & Oasis in Sydney - you won't be sorry - it's one of the best Salvation Army Centres in the world (and I've seen a fair few of them), and spend some time under the teaching of the Paul Moulds', David Eldridge (not just cos he's my dad, but because he knows what he's on about!), Wilma Gallet , and Noelle DeClifford (sp?). They not only talk about fighting for the "lost last and least" - they do it!

Friday night was a struggle for me, but made me realize just how far I've come in the past 12 months. How much God has healed me, and that God has rescued me from my pain and placed me exactly where He needs me.... Torquay!! And what a church it is!!

The social action march on Saturday was a big highlight. I loved that as a Salvation Army we stood together to proclaim that Jesus is the answer to the hopelessness in our world, and that we as an Army are here to fight. I loved standing with the children of Torquay, holding our banner they'd had so much fun making, and standing alongside my friends and fellow Salvationists, proudly marching through Melbourne's city!

The rally at Fed Square was awesome - and a special mention needs to go to Dave, Sonia, Heather, Danielle, and the 2Love Team who put on a brilliant youth rally that night! Frankie Wants Out were my favourite (now I am being biased I know, but they rocked!) and it was great to see loads of non-Army people stopping to see what was going on!!

Sunday - what an honour to be part of the Commissioning & Ordination of the newest Captains in The Salvation Army - the Heralds of the Good News, and to celebrate Phill & Catherine Abram (our Corps Officers) being commissioned. As I sat with members of our church - I was touched to share the introduction to the wider Army to many of our new members. The greatest moment of the entire weekend for me was being able to pray as a church, for two of our members, and for Phill & Catherine. And then to watch as one of our church friends went down the front to make a commitment to Jesus, and another one of our church members go forward to express interest in officership - wow... what a day!

I'm loving serving under the wonderful Commissioners Jim & Carolyn Knaggs. What vision they have for our Territory and the Salvation Army!

We're an Army on the move, and it excites me!!! Are you joining us?

Life Support

2007-11-09T13:56:00.000+11:00

Many of you know that Rent is my favourite musical, and in fact, many of my non-Army friends were met either directly through Rent (the Aussie, West End & Broadway productions) or through friends who were friends of people I met through Rent.

I love many things about the musical - mostly that it is raw and real - but one of the ideas I got through Rent was that of "Life Support" meetings. Life Support meetings were established in the USA to help people either infected or AFFECTED by HIV/AIDS, and as Jonathan Larson (the Composer & Creator of Rent) wrote:

"Life Support's a group of people coping with life"

For a while after Rent finished here in Australia, I would meet often with friends I met through the show - either fans, or cast members, and we would talk about life, and how we were "coping" with the various things life throws at us - good and bad. They were my own little life support group. My friends who I loved and who loved me no matter what.

Yesterday, I met with most (no Perri & Josh sadly!!!) of the group that I went away to Queensland for the National Youth Ministry Convention with, for a debrief of the conference with Dave Collinson (2Love Territorial Youth Secretary). It was such a great opportunity to all catch up again, and to share some of what has happened since or as a result of the Convention. Dave asked us to do our "high's & lows" from the conference (which he clearly stole from Heather)and it hit me that my biggest High from the conference, wasn't anything the NYMC did - it was spending time with a bunch of great youth leaders from around our Territory. It was sharing with them our highs and lows, our fears and our excitement. That was the best thing about Queensland for me.

And that was the best thing about yesterday. The chance to show our new land, to pray for the future, to hear about what people are up to and what they need prayer for. To hear Dave's vision for the Territory, and how we can be a part of that. I had my very own Life Support meeting yesterday - a group of Youth workers coping with Youth work sharing with and learning from each other.

I pray for many more opportunities to do that - with all sorts of different people. And I pray that for you also!

Knowing Me, Knowing You

2007-11-01T14:58:00.000+11:00

The other day, I read a bumper sticker which said:

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there is a reason why they didn't make it to your future"

Them's pretty powerful words me thinks!

It's interesting though, the reason this stuck out to me most of all was that I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately. I have some of the best friends ever. I honestly do. I've got old friends I've had since I was quite young, new friends I can't remember living life without, friends who live within 10 minutes drive away, friends who live longer than a 10 hour flight away and friends who I know even though we don't see or speak to each other often, there is no judgement or condemnation and they will be there no matter what, knowing full well that when we see each other, we will pick up exactly where we left off.

The flip side to that, is that over the years, I've lost a lot of friends as well. I know there are "seasons" for everything, and that lots of people come into your life for a Season and that's all, but I've always struggled with that thought. That people aren't friends forever. I guess because I love my friends so much and I try to invest in them as much as I can. This has meant that I have spent many an agonising night crying over the loss of a friend, that perhaps was not the best person to have in my life for a reason. This bumpersticker stood out to me because of the line "So don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."... there is a reason why they didn't make it to your future. Not all friendships from the past have ended badly, they're the "seasonal" friendships. But why is it that we try to hold onto the friendships that have broken our hearts? Perhaps there is a reason they are not in your future... and perhaps, there's a reason you're not in theirs.

I've spent my life trying to be a good friend, and for the most part, I think that my investments in friendships have worked. I've got some people in my life that absolutely blow my mind... people that I have NO IDEA why they are friends with me - we don't believe the same things, we don't work in the same field, we don't have ANYTHING in common except our love for each other. They are blessings in my life.

This morning, I was doing my devotions and started reading an old faithful 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - the old "LOVE IS...." passage made famous at millions of weddings. But as I was reading it, I felt God saying to me, replace Love with Friendship (because at the end of the day, isn't friendship another form of love?)...

"Friendship is patient and kind.
Friendship is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Friendship never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

I had to think - am I that sort of friend? Are the people in my life those sorts of friends?

Last night we had our small group again. We're talking about King David, which is great, but the thing I got most out of last night, was the Fellowship we were having. The opportunity to get to know some of my newest friends at a deeper level. One of the questions we were asked was "What sort of animal are you in a conflict?" and the answers helped us to know each other better. We now know how each of us is going to deal when conflicts arise within our group. We know how we're going to react. We took the time to listen to what makes us tick, and we got an insight into how our families work through conflict.

Then we prayed for each other. We were honest and raw with each other. There were tears, there was lots of laughter, but most of all there was a feeling of genuine love and friendship.

As I got home (at 11:30 - not bad considering Small Group starts at 7:30!!!) I checked my mailbox, and saw a card that had been left there (no address, just my name). It was from one of the families from our church (their children are Extreme Kids & Extreme Soldiers). I'd spoken to the mother on Tuesday after my shocker of a day on Monday, and they all felt they just wanted to remind me that they are my friends, they love me and they're here if I need anything. That's love. That's friendship. And that's what matters!

Don't sweat the petty things

2007-10-29T13:10:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was a bad day... actually, let me say it was a REALLY bad day! Probably the worst I've had since moving to Torquay to be honest. It wasn't that any major crisis happened or anything like that, nothing dramatic, just things that feed into your mind and take over.

For instance - two different people made comments about their "disappointment" in something I'd done. Now for those of you who don't know me, I don't cope well when told I've disappointed people. I don't like disappointing people. In fact, I'd go as far as to say I HATE disappointing people. If you want to knock me for a six, all you have to say is "I would have liked if you had have......" and I'll fall in a heap and feel like a failure. Ridiculous I know, but a reality.

My immediate response when told what a disappointment I was, was anger... I was REALLY angry. Firstly, because one of the people involved had been upset with me for 3 years, and had not once mentioned it... not at all! And secondly, because the other person who I heard was upset with me (a) didn't tell me and (b) wasn't accurate in their disappointment (ie. I'd done what they had claimed I hadn't done!) So I went for a walk, but the more I walked, the more that anger turned into frustration and then into fear, and then into a sense of failure. You see both of these people probably felt better for getting it off their chest, but they had left me with nothing to do... they'd laid blame, but not given me an opportunity to do anything about their disappointment. It was too late. Any attempt of making amends was lost by the way they handled their disappointment.

So as I laid in bed last night, apologising profusely to God for being such a failure, and such a horrible person, and for not being enough, I had an epiphany. Their anger and disappointment was not my problem - what I do with their anger and disappointment towards me is my problem. It seems pretty simple to most people, but this is one of those life-lessons I've had to learn. I had a choice - a crossroads if you like - I could choose to go down the path of the "pity party" (Poor me, I'm rubbish, I'm worthless, I'm the worst youth worker in the world, I'm the worst friend ever, nobody loves me) or I could choose to apologise, try not to do it again, and move on! And that's what I've decided to do!

Now I know this seems really silly to some people, but the reality is, it's not silly to me. It's really hard for me to deal with other people's disappointment. As I've told most of my close friends before - you don't need to point out my failings and my weaknesses - trust me, I know what they are better than anyone! I have spent most of my life dwelling on those weaknesses. What you can do is be honest with me AT THE TIME I've done something, so we can sort it out. You can help me overcome my weakness, and failures. That's what I need.

So I woke up this morning, and prayed that God would help me find some encouragement, to drown out the negative voices in my head. Sure enough, as I walked out the door, and got into Catherine's car - I saw my little mate Saxon (he's 3). Big smiles, big excitement cos Sarah was here. Then as we were setting up for mainly music, Catherine told me she'd been praying for one of the situations, and that she just felt God saying "Blessed are those who are persecuted for my name" - and that I shouldn't worry what that one particular person had felt, because I'm doing what I can. Then one of my other little friends, Caitlin (also 3) was driving to mainly music and had talked to her mum about some stuff and I had come up. She was worried I might need a little extra help and her mum came right up and told me how much Caitlin loved me and was thinking about me. Right then, I realized... I can choose to listen to the two people in my life who are disappointed, or I could choose to situate myself with those who God has placed in my care spiritually (our kids) and get my encouragement from the way God is working in their lives.

You see, when you stop sweating the petty stuff, you're eyes are opened to the bigger picture. And the best way to stop getting overwhelmed by negatives, is to serve others. I just read General Shaw Clifton's letter to Salvationists. In it, he reminded us of the life of Colonel Bo Brekke, and the sacrifice he made devoting his life to others. If Colonel Brekke had let himself get bogged down by the few who might have been angry at him throughout his life, he would not have been able to impact the lives of the hundreds (possibly thousands) of people who God has used him to reach.

I leave you today with a clip of one of my favourite worship songs - it reminds us that God is ever faithful, and never changes, but mostly that God is in control - and don't we all just need a little reminding of that!

Fighting my Goliath's!

2007-10-18T15:31:00.000+10:00

We had a great small group last night. We've begun a new study - the Liquid Series - which is a great resource if you're looking for something for your small groups.
The first one we did was on David & Goliath (1 Samuel 17). I think when you grow up as a Christian, you get to know these stories pretty well but I think sometimes, God just gives you an "a-ha" moment ya know?

Last night, as we watched the dvd, I got to thinking about the Goliath's we create. Things that are so tiny in reality, but we allow them to get huge. Things like finance, relationship dramas, loneliness, self-doubt... things that can be fixed, if we would only have David's faith in our God who is bigger than all of these things.

I'm not someone who likes to over-spiritualize things, but my goodness our team has been dealing with some pretty hard core spiritual attack lately. I'm not talking demons jumping out at us or anything, more subtle stuff such as disunity, fear, and self-doubt. All in the lead up to the first birthday of our church at Torquay. Some of our baby-Christians (that's people who have just become Christians and are learning about the whole church thing still) have been considering becoming official members of our church - what a beautiful idea and celebration! But of course, those of you who have planted churches, or are evangelists will know - when things are going well, that's when suddenly cracks appear and the foundations are tested.

So we've got a few Goliath's to face. And the going is getting pretty tough at the moment.

Personally, I've got some self-doubt Goliath's to face (you know, "what am I doing, I'm not good at this, I can't do this, how could God really use me, I'm rubbish" sort of thing) and the more I try to fight it on my own, the more the self-doubt creeps in.

But something struck me last night - the thing about David was that he never doubted that God was bigger than Goliath. People were scared of Goliath's size, so they wouldn't even try to fight him - but David didn't see his size, David saw an opportunity for God to win the battle, and show people His power!

On his own, David couldn't have beaten Goliath, but he didn't fight him on his own, he fought him with God's power.

So last night, when I was lying there convinced that I couldn't do this, that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't smart enough, or whatever else crept in I just kept saying "I can't, but God can" and repeating 1 Samuel 17:47

"And everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord’s battle, and he will give you to us!”

The battle is the Lord's, and He will fight it. I just need to be faithful to God, and TRUST in Him and HIS power.

For a bit of a laugh, I've included a great clip that Josh Griffin from Saddleback showed us at the PDYM conference and the National Youth Ministry Convention... love it, makes me laugh!

Peace to you all!

The place which God's prepared

2007-10-16T17:02:00.000+10:00

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10

I've been thinking a bit about whether God is actively or passively involved in your day to day life. I've had some friends questioning this sort of thing lately, and I guess it's caused me to think.

I read verses like the above, and it would suggest at first reading that God is incredibly active in your day to day life, preparing the way for you in advance. Some argue this verse actually refers to heaven, and that if we act as Christ's agents on earth, God has prepared heaven for us.

It's all rather confusing.

But here's what I've seen in my life.

When doors are closed in my life, windows miraculously open... and I mean miraculously. When I question what is right (and by question, I mean I ask God) in different aspects of my life, it seems there is always a door opened or closed. Take my current job. I'd been feeling like an orphan away from my family since leaving The Salvation Army. It felt as if one of the most significant parts of me was no longer there. Suddenly, my parents are moved back "home" to Victoria, outside of Melbourne, to Geelong. I meet Phill & Catherine, the Corps Officers at Torquay (15 mins from my parents corps) and there is a window of opportunity for me to get a job at Torquay. The problem is, I loved Concern Australia right?! I mean, I worked with great people, I enjoyed the work I was doing, and I didn't want to leave. So I prayed about what God wanted me to do. I felt that if a specific thing happened, that would be a closing of a door for me, as I couldn't see any further growth happening for me within that position. What do you know, two days later, exactly the thing I prayed would be a closing of the door, happened... two days later. Coincidence? Freaky? Maybe, but things have been great ever since, and I was able to leave Concern on good terms.

Life has been so great here ever since... it as though God had been preparing me "for such a time as this", and each day I'm challenged and growing more and more in my faith, and in my personal & professional life.

But no matter what that verse ACTUALLY means, I know that it is true - that when we press into God, when we strive to be more like Jesus, and when we pray constantly to grow more and more into the people God saw when He created us, we can see God at work within our lives... and we can be assured that we are going to the place where God has prepared - on earth and in heaven!

AMEN!!!

Minor Christian Celebrity!

2007-10-12T21:29:00.000+10:00

My friend Graeme absolutely made my day today! I got to the office and received a little button (badge) in the mail, which reads "Minor Christian Celebrity".

This little joke goes back to Blackstump 2006, when Mike Pilavacci spoke about the whole 'Minor Christian Celebrity' thing and how God brings you down to earth pretty quickly. If you're interested, email me and I'll tell you the story. But anyway, after Blackstump this became a little bit of an in-joke for those who were there. Afterwards, my dear friend Pete made me a t-shirt with "minor christian celebrity" written on it, and I was telling the crew from NYMC all about it. They found it as funny as I did.

It's so funny isn't it? That "Celebrity" has even infected the church... that we think that once we become "celebrities" we've made it! If people know our names, and talk about us in some way, we're suddenly special - or more important - or more scarily - more impressive to God. But doesn't the bible say "by your fruits you shall be known"? I mean, for some people, their fruits will be changing hundreds of lives through their preaching, but for others, it might be changing the lives of one or two people by the way you live out your life... it isn't about numbers or fame, it's about people, and allowing yourself to be used by Christ to impact lives.

But Graeme's pressie got me thinking you know - about where my life could have gone, had I decided not to return to The Salvation Army. Many of you know the decision for me to leave the Army was a painful one (the sort of pain I would not wish upon anyone), but because of it, I got to experience things I would NEVER have experienced without the time away. One of those things, was Blackstump - and the opportunity to preach at church, festivals and speaking in schools.

To be really honest, there is a bit of me that misses that. Not the speaking so much (I speak every week at Extreme Kids & Extreme Kids Live & Extreme Soldiers)but the things that go hand in hand with the preaching. I miss the community that develops when you're preparing a sermon, or for a festival, or for a seminar at a school. It's a unique group of people that you get to be around. And afterwards, because for some reason Preachers are held in such high regards (aka minor christian celebrity status), people wait to speak with you and you get to hear some really interesting stories from people you would never get to meet if you weren't preaching. These stories have impacted my life more than you could imagine - and often, I feel I've received more than I've given out!

Deciding to return to the Army, was a step away from that world. You see, the preaching opportunities outside of our church, probably won't happen now. The school seminars certainly won't (though as I wrote the other day, I'm going to be pushing that a bit more so that I can get young female preachers back on the agenda in the Salvos). It was a hard decision, because for the first time, I had to say "I'm willing to give up myself for the God to use me in the Army - give up my hopes, my dreams, my hurts - to be His servant, where I'm sent".

So in essence, I've kissed my wannabe "minor christian celebrity" days goodbye. Now I'm not saying that we thought or felt that we were celebrities - in fact we (by we I mean myself and one of my closest friends, who is one of the most gifted preachers I know and hopefully is getting more opportunities on the circuit - Praise God!) would often say "Anyone who thinks Preaching is a glamour gift, has never done it!" - if anything, the gift of preaching & teaching was more often a burden than it was a glamourous life (do you know the responsibility placed on you when you're teaching God's word!!!!). But whilst it was a lot of fun going to schools, festivals, bible colleges, churches and the likes, it was nerve wracking and a huge responsibility.

But mostly what I miss is the preparation of a sermon - the journey God takes you on before you preach. It's always a journey of pain, and self-discovery - God doesn't let you preach something you haven't lived. So I miss that journey so much.

But the really strange thing is, I'm so at peace with leaving it all behind. I'm so blessed now, God has given me a group of children to invest in, and is taking me on a journey with them.

I guess what I'm saying is that if I never become a Minor Christian Celebrity, that's okay. I want to be known by my fruits purely before God, not before man. And I'm praying that God looks upon the way I live my life in our local community, with our small but growing church, and says "it is good". And what could be better than that?

Salvation Army Officer Murdered in Pakistan

2007-10-06T22:05:00.000+10:00

Many of you by now have heard that Colonel Bo Brekke, the Territorial Commander in Pakistan, was murdered at 6:30pm (Pakistan Time) on September 27th, 2007. Whilst I personally did not know Colonel Brekke, my parents had spent some time with him when they were serving in the UK, and he was the Divisional Commander in Scotland.

Obviously, when "one of your own" is lost - particularly "in the line of duty" - you feel their loss, whether you know them or not. From what I know of this man, he was a strong leader, passionate about The Army's work in Asia, and a supporter (and instigator) of The Salvation Army's Fair Trade movement. Upon hearing of his death, my parents decided to lead their church, The Salvation Army South Barwon in a time of prayer and thanksgiving for the life of Colonel Brekke. We made a tribute video to the great Joy Webb song 'Candle of the Lord" which I have included below.

At this time, we remember Colonel Birgitte Brekke, and their two sons.

We pray for the accused murderer, a former Salvation Army Officer, who whilst arrested, escaped from Prison and at yet has not been found. We ask that God would do a work in his heart and that he will come forward.

We pray for General Shaw Clifton as he spends time leading The Salvation Army through this tragedy.

But mostly, we should thank God for the life of Colonel Bo Brekke, and the impact he had on The Salvation Army and on the world.

I'm a Woman, and God loves me!

2007-10-02T17:20:00.000+10:00

I've just spent time at two different conferences. I've been so blessed by both. The first was the "Purpose Driven Youth Ministry" conference, which was held in Box Hill, and which I loved. The second was the "National Youth Ministry Convention"(NYMC), which was on the Gold Coast (I know, tough life huh?!) which was also brilliant. I will write more about those conferences over the coming weeks, however, today I want to focus on something that has started to REALLY get on my nerves.

That is being a woman in ministry.

Now before you guys stop reading and think "here goes another feminist rant", I need to say, that I am absolutely not a Feminist. I am a woman. I am created in God's image. And God loves me BECAUSE of my sex, not IN SPITE of it. Which is why the way the church has been heading has got me so riled up and frustrated.

I need to say at the outset, that I have some pretty amazing men in my life - men who impart such wisdom and knowledge, and who treat me with the utmomst respect and love, and most importantly - men who believe in me even more than I believe in myself. So this is NOT a "Men suck" blog.

Having said that, whilst I was at the NYMC, I had the chance to sit down with some amazing women and hear their heart for God. I also got to spend some time with one of the girls who founded "anya" (a group probably most active in the UK and Sydney - encouraging women and girls to realize they are highly favoured by God and encouraging them to step forward in ministry), a woman who inspires me and whom I hold quite dear, Claire. As we sat down to lunch, with our friend Richard, we inevitably got to talking about ministry, preaching, and the conference. Both of us talked about how at all these conferences, there are "token" female preachers - and that usually, they are a lot older than the girls/women attending and that they are seldom given a topic of any real depth - often left to talk about "womens issues" or "children". Not that I have a problem with either of those topics - they are both REALLY important topics to me. I love empowering girls (as does Claire) and working with children is an absolute gift - but it frustrates me that at a conference with at least 20 speakers, they only invited two female speakers. That's just outrageous!

And yet it's the same in the church everywhere. You only get invited to speak at an event as a woman if you have a bit of a "name" in the Christian world, and yet, there is no way to get that name for yourself unless (a) you've done something they can't find a man that can speak about or (b) you are held in high regard by a man, who then pushes you forward. And yet there are brilliant women out there who can preach amazingly. Like Cath McKinney, Shirley Osborn, Deb Hirsch, Ann Van Leerdam, and many more.

In the Salvo world, it's even worse... I can't name ONE female preacher who gets invited to speak anywhere who is not an officer. Not one. And the really sad part about that is - it goes directly against what William & Catherine Booth, the founders of the Salvation Army held as important - equality of men and women in God's eyes. Women are worth more than being the worship leaders, womens speakers and kids workers. William & Catherine saw that, I just don't understand where we went wrong.

We got to talking about how the worst part about this is that when people hear you complain about this - they assume you just want to speak - like it's our way of pushing ourselves forward and making it about us. It's not. But the sad thing is, that because girls aren't given a chance when they are younger, they shy away when they are asked, so someone has to stand up and say "This has to change", and if it's not girls like Claire and I who will it be? It's not about me - or Claire - or the anya girls in the UK - it's about what is right. Girls are loved by God. Women were dearly loved by Jesus. In fact, when Jesus revealed himself to women - it was to women first - both at the well and at the tomb. Jesus knew women had something unique about them, and a unique way to spread the gospel, so He used them whenever and whereever He could.

So Claire and I have decided we're going to seek out someone to pour into us within The Salvation Army. Someone who will encourage our preaching and teaching skills. Not so that we can make a name for ourselves, but so that we can impart that to the girls in our sphere of influence - so that there won't be another generation of women overlooked for their gifts and their messages. We've pledged to each other - that we will find the girls, and push them forward so that their gifts are used - and so that they might be able to do the same for girls in the next generation. We're going to be proactive. And if that means that people think I'm pushing myself on them - then that might just be what has to happen - Catherine Booth probably had the same things said about her, as did Mary Magdalene no doubt.

So watch out - us girls are on the rise - because we are women, and God loves us!

The Little are BIG!

2007-08-30T17:11:00.000+10:00

I'm so sorry it's been so long since I last blogged - it's been ridiculously busy here the last few weeks.

In my last blog, I talked about how I was going to be going through the whole "how to become a Christian" thing with the kids at Extreme. I'm really happy to say that because of this session (which I ended up running twice cos some kids missed out), there are now 4 kids who know exactly what it means to be a christian, and have decided they want to be one! And on top of that there are 5 other kids who prayed the prayer with them, so that they wouldn't feel weird. What an amazing feeling I had over those two nights. And with confidence that those children had made a well-informed decision to hand their lives over to Christ, I was able to hand them over to Phill to enrol as Extreme Soldiers. What an honour!

At Hillsong, I was involved in a Children's Ministry seminar, and the speaker at that seminar said that 85% of people who give their lives to Jesus are aged between 4-14. He also said that after the age of 20, there's only a 6% probability of becoming a Christian. Yet despite these figures, our children are lost to most churches because they don't tithe!

What a travesty! We spend most of our resources on trying to reach 6% of the adult population, when if we turned our resources to children, there is a probablility of reaching 85%!!!

I'm fortunate that our church has decided to pour its resources into the "little" because we value them and realize that investing in the "little" now, will reap BIG rewards in the future. Whilst the tithe my not be big, the impact will be huge.

As we enrolled our new Extreme Soldiers (all 10 of them, with another 3 yet to enrol), I looked across at them, with great pride, and with great hope. Amongst them were the future leadership team of our church. Amongst them were future teachers, doctors, lawyers, plumbers, administration clerks, mothers, fathers and leaders. Then I looked out to our congregation, and prayed, begged God not to let us adults fail these little ones. As I got up to preach, I felt compelled to share this urging with our church. So I reminded them that it's our responsibility as adults to believe in them, even when they don't believe in themselves. Not to look down on them because they are young. Not to tell them "you won't be able to do that", or "you're not very good at that, maybe you should do something else" but instead to cheer for them. To make a way for them to achieve their dreams. To pray fervently for them.

Over the past few weeks, as God continues to take me further and further out of my comfort zone, I've been having my eyes opened to the little ways in which we can make such a huge difference to a child.

One of my newest friends is Amelie. She's 2 years old, and one of the most gorgeous little cherubs I've ever met. When Amelie is around, it's hard not to smile. Amelie has taught me a great lesson. She's taught me that I speak a million words with one look. When she walks into the room, it matters to her that I smile, that I say hello, that I look at her when she's speaking to me, even when I don't understand what she's saying. I once saw an episode of Oprah and one of the guests said the most important thing to remember when raising children is to "let your eyes light up"... and Amelie has taught me the importance of that. When she's around, she causes my eyes to light up. And as I've taken that lesson into my new ministry, I've noticed the difference in my relationships with the children. You see it doesn't matter that we don't have our own space (yet!!!), it doesn't matter that our program is not whiz-bang brilliant (yet!!!), or that I'm not the most creative leader they'll ever meet - they don't need any of that. They need to see my eyes light up when they walk into the room. They need to see that I believe in them, care for them, love them.

So my newest lesson, is that the little - are big. And I have a big responsibility, to do the little things.

Extreme Soldiers are Totally Forgiven!

2007-08-08T17:17:00.000+10:00

Torquay just keeps taking me out of my comfort zone - and I am loving every second of it!

Many of you know that evangelism isn't exactly my spiritual gift. In fact, I really struggle to do the whole - You should be a Christian thing. It's not that I don't value people who are evangelists - I value them heaps! I just don't feel comfortable doing it. I'm more a "get alongside" my friends and let my life bear witness to Christ sorta girl. I'm much more comfortable journeying with someone who's already made a commitment than asking someone to make one in the first place.

But being part of a church plant, you just don't have that luxury. And the more I work alongside Catherine, Phill, Lyndel & Simon, the more I'm inspired to share my faith with people and jump out of my comfort zone to talk about Christ.

On Tuesday we started a new "Journey's" group with some of our mums from mainly music (the preschool kids & mums music program we run). Two mum's who are not-yet Christians came along - and two other mums who are already Christians are going to go along and join Catherine in taking part in this group - exploring "Is there a spiritual side to me and if there is a God, what does He look like?" type of issues. I go along and take care of the children so that they can be completely focussed on the group. And hearing Catherine talk about it afterwards compelled me to pray about what God wants me to do for our children at Torquay.

The scary thing about asking God what He wants is that He will actually tell you! And He told me that I'm to do an old-fashioned - do you want Jesus in your life - sort of session at Extreme on Sunday night. Asking the children if they would like to make a commitment to Jesus. Do you know how much that freaks me out?! I mean really?! Honestly?! I'm absolutely packing myself! But I know it's the right thing to do, and I know that God wants me to do it, because we are inviting children to become Extreme Soldiers (Junior Soldiers) and naturally they need to be Christians before they can do this.

Essentially I'm asking for prayer. If you have a moment - please take some time to pray for the children who are coming to Extreme Kids on Sunday night. Pray that God will give me the words to say. Pray that God will be preparing the hearts of those kids who are not-yet Christians to be open to the message. And pray that the kids that have already made commitments might be able to help the new ones along in their journey.

I'll keep you all posted! AGH!!!

Amazing Love - Amazing Grace

2007-07-31T18:03:00.000+10:00

So we had a fundraiser the other night. It was organized by our team at Torquay Salvos and designed to raise money and awareness for the Stop the Traffik Campaign.

We got a group of people (there ended up being 57 of us!) down to Warun Ponds cinema to see "Amazing Grace" It was a fantastic night, and the movie is brilliant. Here's a clip for those of you who haven't seen it:

One of the best things about being able to make this movie a fundraiser was that we got to raise awareness about the Human Traffiking trade that still happens in our society. So many people were outraged (as Shane & Dan would say - my rageous had never been so outed!) by that thought, and you know what - they should be!

We all should be. That William Wilberforce spent his life fighting to put an end to slavery and yet people can still be bought and sold for cheap labour & to be used as sex slaves is just wrong. And add to that, the fact that most people bought & sold are women and children - how can we as a western culture allow that to happen? And yet here in Australia, the work of charities such as Stop the Traffik and UNICEF to end child slavery is relatively unknown. And while we sit in our comfortable homes, with our ipods, x-boxes and playstations, and we eat and drink and hang out with our friends - thousands of children are being exploited.

Please take a moment to watch this heartbreaking video:

My friend James & I were talking on Sunday about how amazing it was that William Wilberforce spent his entire life fighting to abolish slavery. How many of us can actually say that we have given up our lives fighting against an injustice? Literally our lives. Years upon years upon years yelling, and begging and pleading with people to stand up for those without a voice.

As for me... I want to live my life as an act of worship to a God who cares about those children. A God who cares about all the injustice in the world. A God who wants the kind of worship that is ACTIVE not PASSIVE. A God who doesn't want to hear us sing about how much we love Him, but wants to see us SHOW how much we love Him. I want to fight, and yell and scream and DO something. I'm tired of sitting back and thinking it's up to others. It's up to us. So get out there, raise awareness, raise money, yell and scream - get petitions signed. It might not seem like much but if enough of us do it - maybe it will make a difference.

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves..."
(Proverbs 31:8)

The Abortion Holocaust?! Really?!

2007-07-24T17:36:00.000+10:00

I have to vent for a moment - knowing that it will make me quite unpopular with both sides of the Abortion debate. We had a phonecall and an email about the Pro-Life movement in Geelong wanting us to get on board and go into the Politicians to lobby Pro-Life, as a statement of faith of course. My problem is - it's not a statement of faith at all. It's a political nightmare, which cares more for agendas than for people.

I'm sick of the debtate... I'm honestly tired of it. Christians who have no idea what either side of the story is choose a side and debate hard core "facts" based on their limited knowledge of the issue.

Let's start with the Pro-Life movement. I read this today:
"Since abortion became legal in the US 40 years ago there have been over 43 million surgical abortions performed; that is more people than the entire population of Canada. We view abortion as America’s hidden holocaust and we want to voice our opinion about it. Those who want abortion to be legal want to silence our voice but we will not be silenced. The killing of small innocent children by dismemberment and burning is an extremely mean act."

And on the same site:

"We have tolerated the beheading of the unborn for over 33 years. We have tolerated the killing of four thousand innocent children each day in our land. The number of people who died on 9/11 is the same number as babies who are killed from abortion each day, and most of us don't even think twice about it.The definition of terrorism is the use of violence without warning against those who are utterly defenseless. It is a willingness to act without regard to the claims or loss of innocent human life. That definition captures the act of abortion."

And finally the clincher:

" If we would believe the Scriptures, then there is no “choice” -- abortion is murder and a violation of God’s Law given through Moses. "

Now I'm sorry... comparing abortion to 9/11 is just cruel and incredibly inaccurate. How for goodness sake do they think this sort of message is going to stop a girl from having an abortion? How is calling her a murderer going to help a woman make any informed choice on what she does?

And as for Pro-Choice...well once upon a time, I thought I was Pro-Choice, I honestly believed that I whilst I personally wouldn't choose to have an abortion, I still believed the choice should be that of the woman who was pregnant.

That was until I was faced with helping a young woman who decided to have an abortion. And all that changed. You see, it started becoming less of a "grey" issue and a whole lot more "black and white" to me. As I sat in the hospital, waiting for the girl to finish, I realized, "I know this is not God's best for her" and I felt ill. Physically and spiritually ill. I'd done everything in my power to stop her from going in there (short of calling her a murderer and telling her that she was partaking in a holocaust or an act of terrorism!), sharing with her that of all the women I knew who had gone through with abortions (and trust me, there are a fair few!) not one of them has ever said it was "nothing" or an "easy" choice to make... every one of them have told me that afterwards they felt "empty" and regretted the decision. And some of them had a lot more reason to go for one than this poor young girl who was frightened of the family and cultural implications of her pregnancy... she was young and frightened and thought she was alone.

When debriefing what had happened (I'd never actually done the pre and post-counselling of an abortion before this time), my friend and mentor said to me "Sarah the thing is, God's best really is black and white - there is no grey, only Grace"... There is no grey...only grace.

How beautiful is that? I wish that both sides of the Abortion debate would stop and think about that. They sit there arguing about the rights of an unborn child, with very little regard for the woman involved. Most of them have never cared for a woman who's had an abortion. Never heard her story, or journeyed with her. Never hugged her as she's walked out of the room. Never held her hand and weeped with her as she struggles to come to terms with whatever situations lead to her unwanted pregnancy (and those situations in themselves are not just "oops I got knocked up, best go in for a quickie abortion" - they're always long and hard decisions to make). So who are they to debate either way?

My Christian friends who are reading this, and thinking of weighing in on the abortion debate - be aware that your words can do much harm to fragile souls. Your words can bring more damage and turn people away from Christ more quickly than they can turn her to Him. Your actions - showing love and grace and peace and support for her, regardless of the choices she made will show her Christ and turn her to Him.

The Message Translation (or as Shane calls it - the Gospel According to Eugene Peterson!) of Proverbs 15:4
"Kind words help and heal;
cutting words wound and maim"

I simply argue that if you are going to weigh into this debate...stop looking at abortion as an "issue"and start looking at the people involved. Do you think God cares about the issue or the person? Is God up there in heaven on His throne saying "Yeah, go you Pro-Lifers Go!" or is God sending Jesus to sit next to the woman in crisis saying "My beautiful daughter, I'm here, you're not alone, you can call on me, I love you, I want what's best for you"...

There is no grey - only grace.

Grace - not judgement - GRACE.

YERUCHAM or CHAVIVA!

2007-07-13T16:20:00.000+10:00

Interested huh?! The title of my blog today means the same thing, and it's something I've been toying with for quite a while. It means "Loved by God" (actually they're Hebrew names meaning "Loved by God" or "Beloved of God" - I'm obsessed with Hebrew names - seriously I think it's becoming an addiction!)

Okay so I digress. Many of you know that I've just started as the Youth & Children's Ministry Co-ordinator (worker/pastor/ministry assistant?!) at Torquay Salvation Army. I started this position on July 1st. I had a baptism of fire - whereby I technically started on June 29th at Transformers Creative Kids Camp - our Divisional Creative Arts Camp. OH MY GOODNESS - what fun I had! I completely fell in love with Western Vic's kids and leaders...seriously - I thought I'd be a Melbourne Central girl forever, but Western Vic ROCKS! Of course we're only as good as our DY (like that Joel?!) - and I have to say, for his first Kids Camp - Joel did a BRILLIANT job!

I left the camp early (taking Chloe & Jack with me) as a group of us from Torquay Salvos were heading up to Hillsong for the week. Tough life huh?! My first day officially at Torquay Salvos was spent travelling up to Sydney. I have to say though, I'm so glad that it worked out this way. Not only was it an opportunity for me to "rest" for a week (though getting up at 6am and not going to bed until 11pm at least is hardly a rest!), but it gave me a chance to get to know the rest of the team more... um... intimately?! (as only sharing a house with them for a week can do!)

On top of that, I was able to hear from some of the best speakers I've ever heard. Bishop TD Jakes (it was like being in Harlem or something hearing him preach!), Jentzen Franklin, John Bevere (loved him the first night, completely disagreed with him the next time he spoke!), Loui Giglio, Gary Skinner and Ed Young were all brilliant. But my favourite? My favourite was a preacher from Singapore, Joseph Prince.

He spoke about grace & love. You know, nice easy topics to get your head around! (haha!)

I'm going to write another time about his sermon about grace, because it really helped me to (a) let go of a lot of the pain I felt from my previous experiences and (b) forgive the person involved! But today I want to mainly focus on the love sermon.

Luke 10:27 says "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength and all your mind and love your neighbour as yourself".

It's a popular verse this one, probably one of the 10 most quoted I reckon. The biggest problem I've had my whole life is, how do you know when you are loving God that way? Do you read your bible more? Do you pray more? Do you do devotions morning and night? Do you never miss church? Do you go to church twice on Sunday? Do you join another bible study group? IS any of that really proving that you love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength and all your mind? And I don't really love myself that much at all (which is in itself a problem, and completely unbiblical but we'll deal with that issue another day), so loving my neighbour as myself isn't that much of a problem, cos I don't have to love them that much... I know people who love themselves HEAPS so that's probably harder for them. And who is my neighbour anyway?

Joseph Prince said the most freeing thing ever at Hillsong... he told us to stop focussing on how much WE love God and start looking at the cross and focussing on how much GOD loves US! Because when we're really secure in a relationship, when we know we are loved, and we can let our guard down, and be the person who we usually are (take off the masks and stand there warts and all), it's a lot easier to love... When we look at the cross, and how much God loves us... so much He sent His Son (a part of Him, God made flesh) to the world to die for all the things I've said and done, for all my sins....not just my sins... but the sins of my neighbour... all the bad things that they have said and done to me that I find it hard to forgive...there at the cross they stand forgiven...because God loves my neighbour (and my enemies) just as much as He loves me... and He loves ME so much He'd die the most brutal horrible awful death imaginable so I don't have to carry the weight of my shortcomings! Man that's love!

The reality of knowing that I am God's beloved. His Chaviva. His Yerucham. His loved one. His Anya. His highly favoured one. Man, that's huge. It makes loving God so much easier. I know that whatever I've done, or continue to do, I am loved. And because of that, I can be Sarah. Warts and All. Princess. Reedeemed. Forgiven. Beautiful. In the eyes of the only man who should matter... I am loved!

Suddenly, I'm finding it easier to love God with all my mind, soul, strength and heart. I'm finding it easier to live according to God's plan. To believe I am worthy. To seek forgiveness for my sins. And more importantly... to forgive those who have sinned against me....which is what Grace is all about. Undeserved forgiveness. Undeserved love. And if my Father in heaven, my Saviour can love me, and show me grace, warts and all...who am I not to show love and grace to those who have hurt me?

Many know that I have "anya" written in hebrew on my wrist... "anya" means "Highly Favoured" in Hebrew. And for the first time in my life... at Hillsong, in that service where Joseph Prince was preaching to 22,000 people... it was just me and my Saviour. He was standing before me telling me that I was loved. I was precious. I was anya. And suddenly, being a Christian was no longer a burden... it was freedom!

It's about connectedness.

2007-06-17T02:58:00.000+10:00

It's quite rare for me to be spending the weekend in Melbourne, as since transferring to Torquay Salvo's, I've spent most of my weekends in Geelong staying with my parents so I can go to church. So last night I prayed that God would use this day as a blessing. And when you pray such things, it's often surprising how God answers!

Today started when I was awoken (granted late in the morning - hey it's my day off!) by my beautiful friends Ann & Venita who thought they'd come over and bless our household with breakfast. Unfortunately (well actually quite fortunately for me!) I was the only one home, so I was treated to a delicious (and healthy) breakfast of salmon, eggs, toast and salad. The beautiful thing about living in Christian community is that this sort of blessing happens quite often - but they are always appreciated.

Venita had nothing planned for the day either, so we decided to have a relaxing afternoon of movies and chats. We went to Balwyn and saw the movie "As It Is In Heaven". If you do nothing else this year, go and see that movie! It's all sub-titled, which normally makes it quite difficult to get swept up in a movie, but this time around, you forget they are speaking in another language. The film is basically about a famous composer and conductor (Daniel) who after a heart attack which renders him unable to work, moves back to the town he was born in. Whilst there he decides he'd like to take over the church choir, and thus a beautiful journey of community and love between people is embarked upon. You begin to feel part of this group of "nobody's" and on more than one occasion we were struck by how God was speaking to us throughout the film. I guess the biggest thing God spoke to me about was the value of community and the need for that community to speak out against the different struggles that go on within members lives. There was an ongoing theme throughout the film that many atrocities were happening in the lives of the people within this community, and nobody had bothered to speak out against them. Leaving victims to be left feeling hurt and alone. Throughout the course of the film, as people begin to find their voice/tone/heart song, they do start speaking out against these issues (such as domestic violence, bullying, prejudice against mental disabilites and the labelling of women who find themselves in broken relationships) and the community is strengthened as a result.

One of the central characters was Svig, a local pastor and his wife Inga. Svig was a good man (at heart) but had let the "fame" of being the local pastor (ie. Saviour complex!) of the community go to his head, and spent far too much time focussing on the sins and need for forgiveness than in the relationship he should have had with his church folk. There is one particular scene which was quite confronting. Essentially this pastor had forgotten that one of his duties was to be a good husband to his wife. He had forgotten that the connection with his wife needed to be emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual. And his wife called him on it. It was extremely confronting, but so very true.

It reminded me of something Rob Bell speaks of in his book "Sex.God". The theme of Sex God is to strengthen the link between your sexuality and your spirituality. To us in this world, that seems so very wrong doesn't it? But what Bell says is that sex is in essence about connectedness. It's about being connected to someone at a raw and deep and passionate and INTIMATE level, and that God created sex for pleasure. Sex was not just given to us for procreation, but for pleasure as well - it's how we differ from animals (though for some guys I know, I can't necessarily say there is much difference! haha!). Venita & I were talking about this afterwards and she asked me what every single person probably asks daily "But how does that work for us as single women Sarah?!" Which leads me to the most powerful and freeing thing I've ever read... if we can believe that Sex is about raw, deep, passionate and intimate connection - it's possible to be sexual without the act of sex! Rob Bell writes (and I'll quote it when I get the book back from the person I let borrow it!) that one of the most sexual people he knows is a friend of his who spends his time working for a not-for-profit organization... and is celibate. No sex, yet he is the most sexual person Rob knows.

When I read that I thought "I get that!", and shared that with my friend and mentor Shane. Shane then proceeded to say to me "Sarah, I agree with him. You are the most sexual person I know, yet you are celibate. When I'm with you, I'm drawn in. You make people want to be around you and want to know even more of you, and you make people want to let you in and know them - raw." He also said that one of the gifts I have is physical touch. That when I touch people, they feel safe, and that it's an incredibly sexual thing - but not in the way the world sees sexual. In a deeper Godly way. I connect with people.

I explained to Venita that is what I think us single Christian girls can do. Have those deep connections with people, teach them the value of healthy meaningful touch, and being intimate with each other. We both agreed that was a precious gift we have been given, and that we should strive to deepen it even further. So I will continue to pray....to pray that God shows us as single women in an overly sexualized world, how to bring people back to embrace their true God-given sexuality. To ask that God will give us people in which we can have meaningful and deep connection with. And that God will help us to remain pure in our intentions and our actions.

After all...isn't THAT what Jesus would do?

I'm so thankful to God that He has given me a community of friends who on a daily basis help me to grow and strengthen my relationship with God. Who encourage me to be the woman of Christ I was created to be. And who I can be honest with, about everything going on in my life, not just the bits they might deem acceptable. This movie today, showed me it really is all about connectedness. It's about loving people, and letting them in. In a society that has tried to make sex just something you can "do" rather than a part of who we are, it is our job as Christians to reclaim it, to own it and to model the value of connection both emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually. I'm striving for a further deepening of the connection I have in all my relationships, and look forward to the way God will reveal Himself to us through that!

Time to get serious about learning!

2007-06-12T12:11:00.001+10:00

So I've realized that over the last year or so, I've become quite lazy in my "learning". What I mean is that I've realized I don't really read as much as I used to, and thus my spiritual maturity has suffered. So this year I've set myself a challenge to read as much as I possibly can. Given that I'm incredibly bad at sticking to one book until the end, I've decided to read two books at a time, plus complete a devotional, and not start another one until I finish one of them...this is tough for me... trust me! :)

I've been doing pretty well so far actually, particularly given I only set myself such a task in April! I'm quite proud of myself. So without further ado..the books I've read and recommend to you are as follows :

This was a small devotional written by Matt & Beth Redman, who wrote the song "Blessed Be Your Name" which just so happens to be one of my favourite worship songs. It is filled with inspirational stories of what happens when you choose to praise God despite your circumstances. It's one I'm sure I'll pick up again and again.

Okay, I'm going to be writing a lot about this book in the coming months, because it really inspired me so much. Rob Bell, famous for his book "Velvet Elvis" & the NOOMA short films, has written this fantastic book on the connection between sexuality & spirituality. This book should be compulsory for everyone to read, but particularly single girls my age (who are wanting to continue to honour God's plan for our lives) and as pre-marriage counselling for all Christian couples. It's quite frankly brilliant.
This book was written by my dear friend GaryBishop, and is an inspirational look at how we as The Salvation Army can get back into the Darkest places of our society that we have perhaps forgotten. It's a great follow up to those who have read General Booth's "In Darkest England and the Way Out". Gary has shared stories about the Eden Openshaw team (you all know I love them and am inspired by them in my own journey!) and how they have gone back into "Darkest England" to work with the marginalized and unchurched in Openshaw, Manchester. "Darkest England & The Way Back In" should be compulsory reading for all young salvationists!

I know most people have already read this one, but I hadn't. Until it was decided by the Torquay Salvo's leadership team that we should read it. So I have. It's kinda long, and detailed, and a lot of the stuff in it you already know, but it consolidates that. It's a worthwhile read for church planters...and whilst I still struggle with the idea of "mega churches", it did help me realize that they have their good points too. Rick Warren writes very well, and you don't get too lost in the detail which is good. It's also great that most of what he says is based on Scripture, which means that you can't really dispute it. He's done well. I'm glad I read it.

The books I'm currently reading:

Devotional: I'm doing the Bible Study of Angela Thomas' book "Do You think I'm Beautiful?" which helps encourage women to explore the questions at a woman's heart. It's a really good book for all those women out there who struggle with the issue of beauty and whether they really fit the model of "beautiful" I'm learning a lot about myself, and about God!

Another book you'll probably hear a lot about from me, is Rob Bell's other book "Velvet Elvis". I love the way Rob Bell communicates, and invites you in to his world and his theology, not as a way of forcing you to agree with him or shoving it down your throat but in a "What if" or "What do you think about" sort of way. It's really quite unique, and I'm enjoying learning more about my faith through him.

I'm also reading "Outrageous God, Outrageous Women" by Ross Saunders, which isn't an easy read. It's focusing on the outrageousness of the women of the bible, and how they broke down social normaties in order to follow Jesus. It's interesting, but not "before bed" reading!

In my quest to read more, please feel free to recommend any books you think I would benefit from! :) And let me know what you are reading at the moment too!

Blessings,
Sare x

Healing Sermon from July 2 2006

2006-07-31T18:17:00.000+10:00

Below is the sermon I preached at St Martin's Community Church on July 2nd, 2006. This was SO tough, because I just don' know what I believe about healing, so it was a challenge to preach on it, but I did it, and apparently it went well. In typical Sarah style, I felt completely numb after it, and can't even remember if I read what I wrote! :)

Good morning! I feel so honoured to be here, and standing before you as a member of the St Martin’s wider community. Ever since I started working for Concern Australia in January, I have found you the St Martin’s community to be people committed to providing a warm and safe place to belong. I love working in the same building as your church, this building feels so warm and peaceful. So naturally when Shirley asked me to come and preach today, I was touched, and immediately said yes!

I must confess that I did feel a little daunted by the lectionary bible readings for today, as they were some pretty heavy issues covered. Death of our enemies in 2^nd Samuel chapter 1, stewardship or if you speak modern English - responsibility in 2^nd Corinthians chapter 8 or healing and the raising of the dead in Mark Chapter 5. These are not topics I generally think about very often, and they are certainly not the types of issues I would cover by choice in a sermon.

Then as I was in the midst of writing today’s message, when I thought I had finally decided about what to speak about today, my Grandfather and my Auntie died within a matter of days. I don’t want to say that this was divine intervention, but I suddenly began to realize the important message contained in two of these biblical passages. At first look 2^nd Sam 1 and Mark 5 don’t really have a lot to do with each other. One speaks of death and mourning and the other about healing. However as I began the process of grieving and supporting my family through our hard time, I realized that in actual fact, both passages give some really significant messages about the healing process.

Now each of these passages, could have an hour long sermon attached to them, but don’t worry, I won’t preach for three hours, I won’t even preach for one! But I will talk about three significant lessons to be learned from the readings today.

The first lesson we can learn is that in order for healing to occur, sometimes forgiveness must first take place.

In 2^nd Samuel 1 we read about David encouraging the people of Israel to mourn over the death of both his good friend Jonathan and a man who not only despised him, but attempted to kill him, Jonathan’s father King Saul.

My Auntie Phylis was a wonderful and godly woman. She was kind and compassionate and always made time for each member of our family. Despite living in Brisbane, she ensured that for every major birthday or important moment in our lives, she would send a card, generally handpainted and beautifully written letting us know she was praying for us. She was one of the only family members to keep in constant contact with my parents since they moved to the United Kingdom. She will be greatly missed.

My Grandad on the other hand was estranged from our family, and after a few failed attempts at reconciliation, he decided it was all too hard, and we didn’t hear from him again, until the phone call came from his wife to tell my mother he had died. The instant reaction from my mums sisters was “Good riddance”, however, my mother is now not only mourning the loss of her father, but also with the loss of any opportunity for reconciliation. I imagine that perhaps when Saul and Jonathan died, David was feeling similar to my mother.

On the one hand he was mourning the loss of a wonderful and godly friend, much like my mother is mourning the loss of our Auntie Phyl. But at the same time, there’s the death of Saul, who lead Israel for many years, but who was incredibly hurtful towards David, even attempting to kill him, much like my Grandfather did, albeit emotionally not physically, to his relationship with my mother.

A beautiful song written by David is found in 2 Sam: 1. The passage tells us that David taught this song, called the Song of Bow, to the men of Israel and lead them in a time of mourning and fasting for both King Saul and his son, Jonathan.

I encourage you to read this song carefully in your own time. You can find it in 2 Samuel 1:17-27 but today I’m only going to focus on a few key verses:

In verse 23, David reminds Israel of the strong bond between Saul and Jonathan. Jonathan was loyal to his father, even though he disagreed with his actions, particularly in relation to David, he always honoured his father. This probably really annoyed David at times, as in our humanness we want our friends to take our sides. David reflects on Saul and Jonathan being strong and courageous men. We read:

“Saul and Jonathan – in life they were loved and gracious, and in death they were not parted. They were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. O daughters of Israel, weep for Saul, who clothed you in scarlet and finery, who adorned your garments with ornaments of gold.”

I imagine it was really difficult for David to remind his people that Saul was a good man. It’s certainly not the Saul he saw during his life. However, David reminds the people that Israel was prosperous during Saul’s time, and that the reason for this prosperity, the glory of Israel, had been killed.

When reading the song David wrote for Saul and Jonathan, we can feel the love he felt for his best friend Jonathan and the grief he was feeling at the news of his death. In verse 26 David writes “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me, Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.”

In his humanness, I’m sure David would have loved to have mourned just over the death of Jonathan, and celebrated the death of King Saul, however he did the opposite, and as a result of his leadership during this time, was made King of Israel, despite the fact that position should have gone to Saul’s other son.

I don’t think that was the reasoning behind David’s gracious leadership during the period of mourning. I sense that David had some deeper sense of wisdom during this time. You see, David did not get the opportunity to reconcile with Saul in life. However, how he reacted to the death of the man who considered him an enemy, was vital to how he would be seen in the future. How David was treated by Saul, was Saul’s sin. It would have become David’s sin had he not forgiven Saul. In this passage, when we look deeply, we can see that forgiveness can lead to healing, and healing leads to life. By David forgiving Saul, he did not say that Saul was right in treating him badly, what he did do was say that he was not going to allow that to stand in his way of becoming the man God called him to be. He remained faithful to God, forgave his enemy, and in turn, God was faithful to him, and healed him of his pain.

It would be easy for my mother to say “Good riddance” in reaction to her fathers death. But by going to his funeral, as an act of forgiveness, she has opened herself up to the healing God wants to give her for all the years of heartache and pain she’s felt at the hands of her father. There are probably things in each of our lives that we need to forgive others for, and I can assure you, from experience, that once you forgive, you make way for God to heal your pain. Sometimes, we will not get the chance for reconciliation in life, that takes two people to humble themselves and seek forgiveness. However, we can forgive and move on with our lives. Had David not humbled himself, forgiven Saul and lead people in their grief, I’m not convinced he would have been made King.

Mark Chapter 5 gives us two other lessons surrounding healing. In this chapter we find a story about a man named Jairus, a religious ruler, kind of an elder in today’s church terms I guess. He would have been considered an “important” man in their community. His 12 year old daughter was close to death, and out of desperation, Jairus raced to find Jesus, and asked him to come and heal her. Whilst Jesus was on his way to help Jairus, he is interrupted by a woman who’s so desperate for healing, she reaches out in faith for it.

The first message we can learn from Mark 5, is about the woman who was healed by her faith. The lesson here is that God uses our faith in healing. We read about this woman in vs 24-34:

“24Jesus went with him, and the crowd thronged behind. 25And there was a woman in the crowd who had had a hemorrhage for twelve years. 26She had suffered a great deal from many doctors through the years and had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better. In fact, she was worse. 27She had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind him through the crowd and touched the fringe of his robe. 28For she thought to herself, "If I can just touch his clothing, I will be healed." 29Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel that she had been healed!

30Jesus realized at once that healing power had gone out from him, so he turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"

31His disciples said to him, "All this crowd is pressing around you. How can you ask, `Who touched me?' "

32But he kept on looking around to see who had done it. 33Then the frightened woman, trembling at the realization of what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and told him what she had done. 34And he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. You have been healed."

The first thing we need to understand when reading this passage is that Jesus was at a point in his ministry where he was becoming quite famous. People had become aware of the work that Jesus was doing, and the miracles he was performing, and wanted to be in on the action. Whispers and rumours would have started to circulate. People would have been going to their local priests and asking them who this preacher guy was.

I think sometimes we forget that Jesus was quite famous. Or we picture a few church like people following him around, a bit like a Hillsong concert. But we can assume it was so much bigger than that. He was one of the celebrities of his day.

I imagine when Jesus was around it was more like when Nicole Kidman came home to Sydney last week to get married. All of the sudden, there’s whispers going around town that she’s going to get married, they find her local priest and question him, they alert the media, everywhere she turns, there are well wishers ready to talk to her, touch her, take her photo, everyone in the world wants to know when and where she’s going to be getting married, they crash her hens night and her wedding.

Now of course in Jesus time, there wasn’t the internet, or cameras, or phones, or any other form of technology we have today. But when Jesus came to town, he was followed by people who’s lives he’d changed. And people would stop and ask them why they were following this man. When they heard about this preacher who was performing miracles, word would travel around the towns, and crowds would gather, hoping to see a miracle. People would have been clammering to get his attention “Hey Jesus, heal me”, “Hey preacher man, help us”, “Hey over here come to my place for dinner”, complete hysteria is often the picture that’s painted when Jesus came to town. And in the midst of it all, Jesus is “interrupted” by a woman so desperate for healing, she reaches out to touch his cloak.

But for this woman, there is more we need to understand. She had been hemorrhaging for a very long time. Some of you may already know, that during biblical times, when a woman was having her monthly cycle, she was not allowed out in public. We read about this in Leviticus 15:19-30. It’s a pretty long passage, but essentially what it says is that a woman who is going through her menstrual cycle is unclean, and anything that she touches is unclean, therefore she should stay within the house during this time. If the bleeding is longer than her menstrual cycle, then she is unclean for the amount of time she is bleeding, plus an extra seven days. Now my dad lived with five sisters, before marrying and having two daughters, I reckon he probably thinks this is a good custom! But imagine what this woman would have gone through. Forgotten by many of her friends. Unable to be healed by doctors. Scared because she didn’t know what was going on with her. Sick and desperate, she displays much courage and ventures out in public. Perhaps she did this out of the wisdom of God knowing Jesus was the Saviour, or perhaps she was hoping for some magic, but either way, she reached out and touched Jesus. Now remember, by touching him when she was unclean, she is essentially making him unclean also.

Lets try to compare what this woman was going through with some of today’s illnesses. There are people in our society who are shunned because of their illness. Perhaps there are people here today to whom society has forgotten, and who already know or who want to know what the healing touch of Jesus is like. When I read this story, I’m reminded of my friend, who I will call Daniel for today. Daniel was a model in his early life, an extremely attractive man with the world at his fingertips however, after years of being given free drugs and free alcohol, he was wracked with addiction. The industry forgot him. His friends no longer called. Years of drug abuse have induced schitzophrenia, and due to his addictions, he would often feel he didn’t need his medication, so would suffer from major psychotic episodes. He was considered a no-hoper. That was until he stepped foot in church. Daniel attended church for nearly a year, not wanting to bother anyone with his problems, with his pain, thinking he wasn’t worthy of this God we talked about, let alone worthy of new friends, especially the goody goody Christians. We all got to know him a bit, and loved him deeply in that time. But we had no idea the sort of torment he was going through, desperate to give up his addictions. One night, after a major episode, he reached out to Jesus. He was not immediately healed of his schitzophrenia, but he was healed of his inability to ask for help. Within a month, with a lot of help and counseling, he had stopped drinking and using drugs. And within six months, he had moved in with people from church, who ensured he was taking his medication. Nearly a year on and has not had a major episode since that time. It is as though Jesus looked into his eyes and told him “Your faith has healed you”

It’s important to notice, that unlike my friend Daniel, the woman was not only completely healed of her medical ailment, but that she was IMMEDIATELY healed. One of the dangerous things some churches preach about is that the only reason we don’t get physically healed is our faith is not strong enough. Daniel has a strong faith, but for him, his healing comes through the medication the doctors give him. Also, his healing didn’t come immediately, he had to work for it. In most of the other healing stories in the bible, people were required to DO something in order to be healed, to go and wash themselves, to GET UP and walk, go and present themselves to the church, but in this story, she didn’t have to do anything, her faith healed her. We need to remember, that sometimes we need to DO something in order to receive our healing, Daniel needed to learn to ask for help and needed to stop drinking and using drugs. David needed to forgive Saul and lead his people in a time of mourning. At other times, like with this woman, Jesus will just step in and heal us instantly.

What’s even more important, is that Jesus knew that healing power had gone out from him, and he started to ask, ”Who touched my clothes”. The disciples thought he was absolutely mad! There were heaps of people around, many people probably touched his clothing. However, he knew that there was someone who had touched him in order to be healed, and I suspect he wanted to look her in the eyes and speak to her. As she realized he was looking for her, she got a little frightened, she probably thought he was going to be angry because she’d made him unclean, so she threw herself at his feet. But he was not angry, instead, he looked her in the eyes, and very affectionately told her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.” When you ask for healing, when you reach out and touch Jesus, asking him in return to touch you, he will not be angry. He will not look down on you for your sin. He will affectionately look at you, take you in his arms and tell you that your faith has healed you.

The final message about healing that these passages give us, is that healing does not always happen in our timing. Remember Jairus? Let’s read a bit more about him:

Mark 5:22-23 says “A leader of the local synagogue, whose name was Jairus, came and fell down before him, pleading with him to heal his little daughter. “She is about to die” he said in desperation. Please come and place your hands on her; heal her so she can live”.

We learn in verse 24 that Jesus went with him.

Now imagine how Jairus would have felt when Jesus stopped in the midst of his journey to heal his daughter, and healed another woman… more than that, touched an “unclean” woman. He was probably feeling a bit like “Come on lets get out of here, ignore her, lets get on with healing my little girl, quick she’s dying!”. Now the bible doesn’t say this is what happens, but remember Jairus was an important man in his community, and was probably feeling pretty desperate. Jesus was his last hope of healing his little girl.

We continue Jairus story after the interruption by the woman in verse 35:

“35While he was still speaking to her, messengers arrived from Jairus's home with the message, "Your daughter is dead. There's no use troubling the Teacher now."

36But Jesus ignored their comments and said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid. Just trust me." 37Then Jesus stopped the crowd and wouldn't let anyone go with him except Peter and James and John. 38When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw the commotion and the weeping and wailing. 39He went inside and spoke to the people. "Why all this weeping and commotion?" he asked. "The child isn't dead; she is only asleep."

40The crowd laughed at him, but he told them all to go outside. Then he took the girl's father and mother and his three disciples into the room where the girl was lying. 41Holding her hand, he said to her, "Get up, little girl!"^[a] 42And the girl, who was twelve years old, immediately stood up and walked around! Her parents were absolutely overwhelmed. 43Jesus commanded them not to tell anyone what had happened, and he told them to give her something to eat”

Imagine what Jairus must have been thinking when they stopped to help the woman, and yet found out that his daughter had died in the mean time. The grief he must have felt would have been enormous. Then Jesus says to him ‘Don’t worry about it Jairus, relax, Trust me.” There’s an important message here. Sometimes, we don’t trust Jesus when he says he’s going to do something. We wait and wait for something to happen, and when it doesn’t we lose faith. But when Jesus promises something, He ALWAYS comes through. He had promised Jairus he would heal his daughter. And even death can’t stop Jesus doing something he promises. That’s the beautiful thing. And even when everyone laughed at them, for going in to wake a dead girl, they continued to trust, and as a result, received an overwhelming gift, their daughter. Notice here that Jesus didn’t want them to tell anyone what had happened. This was a private healing.

Sometimes what we go through is just for us to experience, our experience with God is special. Our healing that has occurred when Jesus has come through for us, is to strengthen our faith, not everyone elses. That’s what happened here. Jesus wanted Jairus to see that he would keep his promises, and that nothing could hold him back from keeping them, not even death. If you’ve been waiting for healing, and it hasn’t been coming, perhaps there’s something else going on here, a lesson we’re to be learning. Does Jesus want to heal us? Yes, absolutely. Does he always do it in our timing? Nope, not a chance. But the lessons we’ll learn through the journey to healing, will be priceless, and personal.

Often, we don’t want to bother people with our pain. Sometimes, we don’t even want to bother Jesus with our pain. But if we could just have the courage to put our hand out, and touch the cloak of our Saviour, healing will be given. Jesus longs to heal us. He hates us being in pain. But sometimes we cause that pain ourselves. Sometimes, we choose to remain in pain. We choose to harbour resentment towards people. We choose to continue feeling depressed. We choose not to forgive. And whilst we are making those choices, we will remain unhealed. I want to urge you today to be like Jairus, to go out and find Jesus. To seek him out and ask him to come and heal the areas of your life that are hurting, but not to do it in our time, but to do it in HIS time. For Jairus it was his daughter, but he knew Jesus was the answer. For you, it may be something else. Maybe it’s a piece of you that has died, perhaps you don’t care anymore, or you don’t love anymore, or you allowed a friendship to die, because it was too hard. Jesus wants to go in there and heal that. He is desperate to do that. Perhaps you, like my mother, and like David, need to forgive someone, and receive your healing that way. I can promise you, it works. Healing came for me, when I forgave a man who hurt me really deeply, and I could talk about that for days. Or perhaps, all you need, is to reach out and touch Jesus, because you know he’s the answer, and you know he can heal you. There are people here, your Pastors, Shirley, Ann, Marshall and John who would long to pray for you, and help you fall at the feet of Jesus and receive the healing you require. I encourage you today, to reach out and touch the cloak of your Saviour, and allow him to look upon you and say “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace”… “Son, your faith has made you well… Go in Peace”.

That is my prayer for each of you. May God Bless you each.